holding.

because you're supposed to hold on to good things, right?

and my means of holding on to things is to write about them.

and for the occasions when i can't find my words,

i let photos do the talking instead.

so that i may remember the good days that life graces me with.

(because wednesday was a really really good day--

filled with the deepest kind of tranquility.)

plate and i went up the canyon on wednesday.

after a long, cold winter sometimes i forget my mountain obsession.

the way being in the mountains fills my lungs with air.

the way being in the mountains grounds my soul.

the way i say (probably much to his annoyance) over and over again--

i love the sun.

oh, how i dearly love the sun.

made even better by spending a good portion of a day with nate. 

sunshine and mountain therapy is a real thing.

here's to the mountains and the sun.

perfectly magical dots of snow followed by radiant blue skies and sunshine breaking through.

here's to my obsession with springtime in the rockies.

(and enjoying it with an exceptionally good human.)

sorrynotsorry for the attack of photos.

- - -

i can gather all the news i need on the weather report.

i've got nothing to do today but smile.

(the only living boy in new york, simon&garfunkel.)

THIS IS REAL LIFE.

i repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

(insert sappy comment about how darling he is here.)

spring never ceases to fill me with relief.

my soul can breathe again.

happy spring, world.

glorious, glorious spring, indeed.

little talks.

(inspired by megs.)

my favorite russian professor calls we with meg and shariska and greer "the fab four."

i'm sorry, is that condescending?
have one of the fab four look into this.
and in addition to already being my favorite,
he becomes even more so when he tells me why i'm the bee's knees.

my other favorite calls us a power house.

him: wow. the four of you in one apartment? that's what you call a power house.
me: or a house of terror.
(#theyloveus #russianmajors)

in fact, pretty much the entire russian department is my favorite.

(theylovemeandilovethemandsometimestheyvalidatemeanditmakesmywholelife.
like that time they told me the department is disappointed i'm graduating
because that they wanted to give me their russian scholarship.)
i love them all. and the only one i've never had as a professor?

well, last weekend we rode the horses of one of our russian professors.

belonging to this one professor i hadn't yet become acquainted with.

fudgyperfectbrownieswithmegwithit while discussing anna karenina exams.

spending almost four hours writing. by hand. today.

two hours was in english. 90 minutes was in russian.

jlln comes home in 8almost7 days. a couple days ago this is the photo i sent her of thisishowifeelaboutit:

(our jokesnotjokes about being married never stop being funny. or true.)

megs and i just now did a rousing rendition of the indiana jones theme song.
we'relosingourmindssssss.

senioritis is a different kind of lost motivation.

the issue with the exam we had to go take today wasn't the subject matter.

it was getting ourselves to go to the testing center to take the time to think and take it.

the soundtrack to the secret life of walter mitty is excellenceofallexcellence.
(i've never seen the movie, but i do recommend the soundtrack.)

we went to a wedding reception of an elder from my mission on saturday. #makayley

which included seeing some of the people in this world that i love most.

and this weekend there's a mission reunion.

(that i go back and forth on even wanting to go to, почему-то.)
all these loves of mine.

this weather, though. and also. i have an obscene number of photos of the blossoms on my phone.

and also, there's nothing like waking up to blossoms by your bedside.

a few mornings ago when i went running, there was a hot air balloon veryveryclose to our house.

and i love provo hot air balloons.

her name is pearl.

she was the calmest and my favorite.

from all the pretty little horses i got my first sunburn of the season. #worthit

if it seems like all i really talk about is

russian literature, russian professors,

jillian, my roommates, a handful of other people i love,

flowers, and the weather,

well--

you'd be right.

i get lost in my mind.

we must plunge.

// i've been feeling like a boss a lot lately. i am. clearly everyone should know that.
// i'm having a hard time focusing on my gre math review class right now.
// today was a perfect weather day. there's nothing lastingly bad about a may day.
// i work. with some very delightful humans.
// the swinging. it's still a thing. they heal souls. and let souls dream.
// i forget sometimes how much changed while being gone for a year and a half.
// for my bday we're having a partay next week. a birthday party. cue this song.
// there are a lot of things i wish i could write about. wish i knew how to write about. but i can't.
// i was enchanted. this is me praying that. wonderstruck.
// i'm going through a major obsession with this song. because it is now. perfect. are we there yet? somebody.
// some of my mission 'daughters' are in the same place in their mission now as i was when i trained them.  #weird
// steve and i speak in hashtags more than should be acceptable. #soulsoldforarioporkburrito
// my mtc companion called me for a quicksecond today. i adore her. gwennie.
// jillian and i are so almostmarried that we spend our lunch breaks together. haaha.
// now gre math is over. i got a gold star from the instructor for thinking quick.

time for swingdate. no better way to end a long all work, some play mayday.

because the may is mine.

just a few little tidbits of life. 

picture's worth a thousand words, they say.

"better to see once than to hear ten times."

that's what they say.

the gift of liliacs.

cause there's something about sundays.

we call sundays my day of love.

i'm incapable of sitting still.

i feel like the warm weather outside won't last, like it's about to end.

so i can't get enough sunshine.

i've taken a lil walk to a nearby duckpond or the swings a lil too frequently in the past week or two.

i can't get enough.

swings are therapeutic, especially when looking to stars.

but also make me want to hurl if on too long.

yesterday as i was leaving church, everything around was very calm.

i sang 'nearer my god to thee' to myself. in russian.

and right there on the road, i went past this lil deer. just eating away right on campus.

i gave a privet and went on my way.

it seemed like it was supposed to mean something, though i don't know what.

the winds are blowing.

change in the air.

i do love the month of may.

i claim it as my own.

welcome, may.

do stay.

good on the soul.

i can already tell.

the history of sunshine begins in may.

moments. days in the sun.

. hearing a story about a child's speech pathology successes and having those little taps on my heart saying, 'yeah, that really is what i want. to facilitate real growth. this really is the means through which i will do as i'm meant to do.'

. coming home to a sunny balcony when i know no one is home. because a balcony to read is better than harold.

. thriving. finally. almost. thriving.

. seeing how far i've come. seeing a difference. seeing the change. seeing perspective. this is a landmark. this is not the end. (something is coming.)

. god telling me to go to the stake easter musical fireside. and going and being richly rewarded. all the day long. lord, i would follow thee. blessings: a marvelous work and a wonder.

. the support and encouragement of members in ukraine for my missionary loves in this time of trial. the way they are stepping up. (more about ukraine and my heart will be coming, obviously.)

. teaching me to hope again. learning how to breathe.

. the stark contrast of new spring life to the still-mending browns and blues of nature. the week of blossoms.

. i listen to the wind on my soul. i sketched a kite on my russian paper that i was revising this weekend. probably symbolic.

three. is a magic number.

i had to get my car registration renewed the other day.

so in the middle of the day on a tuesday in march,

i found myself in an empty auto shop.

car registration. renewal.

three. i've been home three months today. a number that is simultaneously three days and three years to me.

that's the way the world turns.

and my head told my heart,

'let love grow.'

and my heart told my head,

'this time no, this time no.'

remember spring swaps snow for leaves.

you'll be happy and wholesome again.

when the city clears and sun ascends.

winter winds, mumford and sons.

spring is my time of year, you know. i adore the process found within spring and fall, but most especially the coming to life of spring. last year as life began to come again in ukraine after a long, cold winter, i would always note it and say, "маленькая жизнь." ['little life.'] my companion sometimes thought me crazy, but eventually found it endearing. (or at least that's what i tell myself.) the signs of life after a time of so much death, figuratively speaking.

i always say three is a magic number. three weeks for adjustment to something new. three months for it to become a part of you. three months in romania, and i could have stayed there forever. three months home from ukraine, and it feels like a distant dream. life here, is normal life. different, and yet the same as what it was before my mission.

during my last transfer, i got an email from jillian (otherwise known as sis.bull) right after she got home. about. how. so much is just the same. except. she was different. her reaction was different. and. well. that's the difference of a mission. not the world, of course. but instead yourself. you are different. your reaction to situations is different. your reaction to people is different. maybe that's a gross overestimation. but. my reactions are different. my reactions to people are different. and, above all, i am different.

march. is my month of renewal. with this marking of three months. i feel. i feel life again. something within the sunshine. something coming, though i'm not sure what. even if maybe that something is just the longer days of steady sunshine.

people always ask me, 'have you adjusted yet?'

well, i for one don't know exactly what on earth adjusted is supposed to mean.

but i do know. that. if adjusted is feeling heavy dust or snowpiles be gradually blown off your soul, hating people less, being less (relatively) triggered by things related to missions or sister missionaries, no longer the newest home from your mission, and the beginnings of starting a new life--then yes. yes i'm adjusted.

but, i don't think it's a perfective verb so much as a lifelong gerund--adjusting.

i'm adjusting. all of us. everyday. we are adjusting. to everything that surrounds.

and maybe, just maybe, that's the beauty of life itself.

the consistency of change and the wonder in watching the creation and development of new life.

i started over a lot on my mission.

white-washed a lot. (mission lingo-which is to say, entered areas which neither i nor my companion were even remotely familiar with.) to say nothing of all the times i walked into absolutely nothing or an area that was absolutely dead or an area that hadn't had missionaries in quite some time. sometimes together with the whitewashing, sometimes not. not to mention much of those occasions were combined as well with being trained, being real young with a companion that's real young, or training.

so, like. #immaboss

but, my point is not to brag. (pride.) my point? nearing on the end (when i had once again found myself in the midst of entering nothing), megan beth in an email once said to me, 'maybe that's why you keep coming into areas with nothing. so that you can learn how to build. and use these lessons when you're home (...) but i do think god lets us breathe sometimes before moving on to the next challenge.'

building. moving. shaking. but. it's been taken all out of me. i don't have it in me anymore. i think i'm supposed to be breathing after 18 months that were more than a lifetime-worth of adventures and experiences, joys and heartbreaks, scares and thrills.

i think i've had enough adventures for awhile.

three. the worst of the coming home battles are in the past, you could say. conquered, слава богу.

so here's to breathing the sun into my bones.

happy and wholesome again, when the city clears and sun ascends.

breathe: in, out; in, out. this is how we stay alive.

spring is good for the soul. it renews her. refreshes her. revitalizes her.

only fitting that my three months lands on the first day of spring.

welcome, spring.

welcome home.

first and foremost.

"Time's not what matters - it's you that does.

Become a sun, and then everyone will see you.

A sun must first and foremost be a sun."

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

when i first got home, there wasn't a particular restaurant i just had to go to first thing.

there wasn't a song i needed to listen to, or a movie i was dying to watch.

sixty-seven.
now, eighty-five.
i've been home for eighty-five days.
at sixty-seven. that's when i started to know. that's when hope was born within me again.
hope dawning bright as i looked into the setting sun.
that's when i really knew.

i'm okay. it'll all work out. it really all will.

i am a sun. in cold mountain was the first time a woman on the street called me солнышка. (solnichka.) sunshine. a woman with black hair that we talked to briefly before she hopped on a passing marshrutka (similar to a bus) on an absolutely frigid winter morning, made even colder by the rare clear sky that appeared and morning sunshine that was utterly without warmth. from then on. i delighted when people would call me sun. sunshine. any derivative. and then. someone started specially calling sister andrade solnichka. daughters leave legacies. especially in ukraine. all of my trainees are weird combinations of parts of me, peculiar things that set them apart as mine and carrying the legacy of the line we're in. and that was one of hers: solnichka.
but. a sun. first and foremost, you must let yourself be a sun. then everyone will see or understand.
this probably doesn't make sense in words the way it does in my soul.

i don't know what personalities of recently returned missionaries mean. the things that are hard for you or aren't hard for you. the things that make for big adjustments vs. the things that seem like no big deal at all. and the thing is. in most cases, they are absolutely no indicator of the kind of missionary someone was. it's just. some things phase some, others get phased by other things. in the midst of it you think:
i'm dying to go to cafe rio. i just can't wait to have american ice cream. zupas. that's what i'll eat first. this place. take me there first straight from the airport. i'm dying to see this movie that came out just after i left. i can't wait to hear about this and this.
that's how missionaries think. but then. when the real moment comes? it's nothing like that. nothing like what you imagine in your head. by the time you really get there, you've long since forgotten about those things. they've long ago turned relatively unimportant. for me, anyway. they all became spare change. unimportant.
instead. i was ready to collapse from exhaustion and trauma.
instead. i was left emptied out and unsure of what to make of the place i ended up in.
instead. i was left, figuratively speaking, staring blankly in a mirror as the world span madly on.
that's what coming home meant. for me.

i don't feel like a 'return missionary.' i feel like i served a mission. in ukraine.
and now i am not in ukraine.
i feel like there are millions of secrets in my soul. millions of pieces, that have no place to be let out. millions of portions that few can understand, or even have patience for caring about. millions that don't have a way to be explained. they just. are as they are. pieces of me that result from millions of combined moments.
starting with. i don't miss my mission. my mission was over and was supposed to be over. i miss moments. i miss people. i miss the essence of what ukraine is. the essence of people. (i miss music mondays of cold mountain in which the ukrainian national anthem interrupted our studies from the military training ground across the street from our apartment.) i miss little things like lessons with people i love. first lessons that go well. teaching, in general. good, meaningful conversations with strangers. moments of light, moments of change. companions (i wish i could go back to being companions with some people even though it's real life this time. because i just miss their presence. strange? probably.) i miss the special kind of friendship that is created and for some reason can exist only in that foreign and isolated intensified arena of living.
to name a few.
and. i won't talk about the other aspects. not now, anyway.

i don't know what i'm trying to say exactly.
but maybe that's just it. i'm not trying to say anything specifically.

just that. a sun must always first and foremost be a sun.
time does not matter. normalcy comes to each in their own time and way.
i love spring. spring is mine.
if you were to describe me within the bonds of weather condition,
it would be a sunny spring day with a wind blowing in various strengths throughout the day.
warm, but a slight chill within the refreshing breeze.
a day that everyone would deem as wonderful, refreshed after the grey of winter.
something like that.

russian literature. the russian soul.
far too underestimated in this world for their brilliance.
(especially dostoevsky and tolstoy. i'm obsessed with them as of late.)
god bless them. every one. especially today.

just a little stream of consciousness.

i need to write more.

but i wouldn't know where to begin.

i have collections of words gathered all over many different venues.

nothing concrete or consolidated.

a metaphor for my life.

nuclear engineers and medievalists.

i strongly approve of this.

that is all.

the sunshine is calling. i must breathe it into my bones.

hashtag.

shared dessert.

#married

so glad jilly bean has come back home.

"what a dull place the world would be if there were no fools. here we are, two intelligent men, who know you can argue eternally about everything under the sun, so we don't argue. we know practically all the other's innermost thoughts. with us a single word speaks volumes. we see through the triple outer husk to the kernel of our emotions. we find sad things funny and funny things sad, though in fact we're pretty indifferent to everything except ourselves. "

mikhail lermontov, a hero of our time

so, i mean. it's a little bit true.

raven and fire.

i have good roommates.

they (we) are going places.

something good is in the air.

on wings of spring, weakly threatened by a day of snow.

i love spring.

it makes everything feel possible.

hello there, spring.

stop and stay awhile.

a lil' list of happy.

things that make me happy today:

[yes, this list is as cheesy as it sounds. no bigs.] 

. the fact that this is my view whenever i enter my apartment. so what if the sign is from when i opened my call over 3 weeks ago? it ain't no thang.

. my sunflowers are bloomingly gorgeous and bright and open. and can we talk about the explosion of popcorn trees and spring scents this week? laurs and i adore it.

. member how i love being called em? i kind of wish i could be called sister em. too bad, really. guess i'll be satisfied with being auntie em for future nieces and nephews, because you better believe that's what they'll be calling me. dang straight.

. i don't think i give enough credit to how great my coworkers are. because they're so so great. hil-arious beyond belief, and we always have the funniest conversations. and such interesting conversations. and let's not forget about how much i/all of us laugh. and maybe we have a party practically once a week. or someone buys doughnuts for everyone. or who knows what. it's so great.

. i was talking to ros ros this week about post-romania interactions. and how generally speaking, i prefer being around people i met after romania, because i feel more like i'm being myself with them than i am with people from before, (there are obviously exceptions to this.) but generally speaking, it's just easier. i can be who i've become without feeling like i need to revert into who i was. i think that's another reason i love being around my coworkers so much. we all are completely and unfailingly ourselves. and we all love each other anyway. no one is fake, no one is dumb. it's a hilarious mix. number one lesson everyone should learn in life: you can be yourself and still have people like you. in fact, they'll like you even more that way. just sayin.

. conference weekend. need i say more?

. the weather today and yesterday could not be more incredible. spring and summer make my life. straight up. if the weather all year round could be like march through october in utah, i'd be perfectly okay with it. just sayin.

. my mission is going to be the coolest thing ever. i can just tell. i'm so excited it's unreal. i heart eastern ukraine.

. talking to an old friend/roommate. like, really talking. deep talking. so so good. kaitlin rachelle snow is going to be the best missionary ever. i know it. she just is.

. conference dates with soul sister on this beautiful day. how the heck am i supposed to live without her for 18 months?? dangitall.
. zupas. never gets old. ever. and i decided i need to start storing up cafe rio visits since ukraine doesn't have mexican food. ( mexican food : america :: mediterranean/middle eastern food : eastern europe ) true story. good thing i'm obsessed with my shaworma and gyros. mmmm. oh my gosh. i just made the realization that they probs have shaworma in ukraine. i just died. i really did. someone please appreciate this fact with me?
. CONFERENCE. anddd okay, can we just talk about how pres. packer's talk made me miss my babies like crazy?? okay, great. glad i'm not the only one. and let's also talk about how elder holland is THE MAN. everyone knows it's true. he is so spot on talking about something that most people just brush under the rug, but is a huge problem. dear mormons: stop being judgy-eyed and self-righteous. the end.

weekends have been completely underrated in my life until this half of the semester.

i live for them like none other. and am dying to sleep. maybe i'll take a nap today just because i can.

happy weekend, world!

go outside. NOW.

feel free to thank me later.

if i had a bike, i'd be riding it.

and i'd probably end up with sunflowers from somewhere along my route.

spring fever, anyone?

check. what a beautiful first day of spring, wouldn't you agree?

IT'S SO GOSH DARN BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW I CAN HARDLY STAND IT.

and sometime caps lock is necessary in excitement, right?

i adore spring.

(which probably comes as no surprise to anyone. no wonder i was born in the spring/summer transition. best time of year.)

would a bike go on the list of irresponsible purchases, see as i'm leaving the country in 4 months from 2 days ago?

( ! ! ! ! + ! ! ! )

but if we're being real, i don't get to leave provo for 7 months anyway.

just sayin. think about it.

and i could bike to and from work during spring!

especially since i'll spend all day at work sitting at a computer processing emails.

completely logical. think about it. just sayin.

member how the semester is over 3 weeks from tomorrow?? yesssssssssssss.

springtime = happiness. universal fact.

and tonight now that projects and tests and everything galore is over (for now),

[shout out to stevie! best brother ever for saving me in crisis for a part of my project that was due today.]

i'm going to costco with sherry sunshine. and probably going to bed early. or watching a movie.

or both.

and remember this playlist? totally breaking it out tonight.

anddddd maybe i'll work on the s+k wedding video a bit?

it's embarrassing how excited i am for all this. like, really.

ps. unrelated note: laurs, lets make beerrocks together someday soon so you can try them? yes? check yes or no.

all those days, chasing down a daydream.

you know those weeks:

- that involve 12-15 continuous hours on campus every day?
- the weeks you spend wayyy too much time in the testing center?
(there are more guys than girls there late at night. and there are more guys than girls on the far right side. why is that?)
- the weeks that it feels like everyone else has got it together and is going places (like grad school) easily?
- the weeks that you definitely don't get enough sleep?
- the weeks that hygiene goes out the window? well, more than usual, anyway.
- the weeks that every single class decides to have their projects and tests?
- the week you spend more time in the cougar eat to eat on campus than ever before, besides freshman year?

thank heavens that week is almost over.

image found here. i adore that peachy color lately.

on the bright side, this kind of week also includes:

+ quality study time and new study spots (yes, i detest the library and its atmosphere. it's true.) 

+ finding out that shakes at scoreboard are only 2 dollars/finding out that they even have shakes on campus.

yes it took all the restraint in me to not buy one every day.

+ hilarious study sessions with katie and brittney. that always involve chocolate rewards.

+ running into old friends on campus. (!!!) and a mutual understanding that high school is very much in the past.

+ fooling katie and brittney into thinking i know everyone on campus. i promise i don't! haahaha.

(but it is kind of exciting that i run into someone i know so frequently compared previous years here.)

+ sunny days and no coats! you know how i detest wearing coats.

(i didn't even wear tights yesterday. what. now.)

+ going to the creamery by where i work for the first time since starting there. last time i went there, there was a pool next door and dt as well. helloooo, the brownies at this creamery are totally fresher! so glad i've been introduced to the goodness.

(best part is when other people go to the creamery and buy things. and share with me!

pretty sure independent study single-handedly keeps that creamery in business.)

+ realizing how slightly attached i am to byu and the department here when faced with the possible option of finishing up somewhere else because of the awkward timing of my mission. nope. can't do it.

+ light at the end of the tunnel because there are only a few more weeks until the semester is over!

+ UKRAINE. (+ excitement letter from hermana allen.) need i say more?

thank heavens there's always silver linings.

pretty sure i deserve to watch ygm this weekend.

least and most, best and worst.

most addictive substance ever: cadbury eggs. out of control.

best fhe ever: going to the bishop's house and getting a delicious dinner and playing a hilarious game of signs.

least patient days of my existence: this week while waiting for my call to come.

worst idea ever: having 5 exams within 2 weeks. while being enormously distracted. oopsay.

most nerve-racking thought ever: the moment i open my call. where do i look first? do i force myself to cover the place first as i read? or do my eyes instantly gravitate towards those magic words?

best roommate ever: when choosing the morning get-ready music (yes, we listen to music every morning) i ask for her to put on something springy and happy and feel good. she chose this. baaahaha. so maybe our life could be a sitcom. we're like a 2 man comedy routine. we're hilarious together. we really are. baha.

worst thing ever: walking through heritage to get to work and looking like a freshmen because i'm short anyway. i resent walking surrounded by freshman going to and from class. i'm going to or coming from independent study, thank you very much.

most exciting thing ever: having my excitement return after a several week waltz with feeling inadequate, unprepared, and terrified. it's a long story that i wrote in my journal yesterday during church at the final peak of feeling ridiculous and nervous. but it's finished. with god, nothing is impossible. we can become perfect through his mercy. have faith and trust. you know those sundays that you just get bombarded with messages for you over and over again throughout every meeting. ones that mostly are saying 'pull yourself together and get over it' - though in much gentler words? it was perfect. main point: I'M SO EXCITED. terrified, always. but excited. baby steps.

best thing ever: tender mercies are the key to happiness. like receiving a copy of a hippie/inspiring music cd in the mail from someone from high school that in person i hardly know, but have exchanged many words with through cyberspace. how thoughtful. is it weird how surprising and amazing it is to me when someone does something thoughtful for me? it's not common, so when it happens its the best. sometimes you just want to hear that people like you, you know? don't keep it hidden away. [so maybe i still can't get over this either. BEST.]

least appealing thing ever: seeing trillions of couples everywhere. i have a love/hate relationship with them. they're so adorable and happy in the spring sunshine. but let's be real, they're just so dang annoying too.

worst idea ever: having a toothbrush in my mouth when starting this post. and it's still there. pretty sure i could fill the space moses parted in the red sea with the current amount of stored up liquid in my mouth. tmi? oops. brb. there we go. alll cleeaannnn.

most of my weaknesses: brownies, homemade rolls, french fries. and sour patch watermelons. i can't turn them down. ever. it's embarrassing sometimes. guilty pleasures. i have to try at least a little bit. always.

best thing ever: cooperative brothers and seeester in love.

worst thing ever; uncooperative brothers [especially when they are complete pills when it comes to doing something for the good of their own wedding. ahem. no comment. yes i just threw you under the bus there, sreven. it's life. punishment? video duty.]

least appreciated motto: baby steps. it's the theme of my life lately. baby steps onto the elevator, bob.

worst: i'm out of control today. and i don't suspect it will go away this week. like, i'm freaking out and out of control ridiculous. true story. anyone who has been around me lately can attest to this.

most depressing thing ever: my cadbury eggs are almost gone.

blue eyes.

i'm sitting in the benson building.
(for non-byu-goers, that's the chemistry building.)
it's the farthest you can get on campus towards going home.
i'm here for the internet because it's so spotty and slow at home. yes, byu. i'm using you.
there's a freshman book of mormon class in a big auditorium by me.
i know that because i heard my cousin from here announcing his mission call, i'm assuming.
funny how that worked.
and then there are lots of guys and asian girls (mostly) wandering around. in goggles.
or just talking about chemicals doing fancy things.
the guy sitting across from me in the hall is doing a scary looking math assignment.

it's safe to say, i don't fit in here.
haaaahahaha. noted. i think this is the longest i've ever spent in the benson. and it's only been 30 minutes.
i'll stick to the non-science places, thank you very much.

this morning birds were chirping. do you know what this means??
SPRING IS HERE.
best season ever.

a springing week in pictures

cousin mikey opened his mission call on wednesday. this is what steve and kenzie look like right after.

could these tulips be any more beautiful? probably not.

thursday night we had a romania reunion cause the rozster is in town this week.

first half of the romania reunion:

rossles, kylee, breezy, and me.

second half of the romania reunion:

me, sora (amanda) holman, kylee, michael, roslyn, and amanda.

i've missed these people.

on friday cousin deb came to visit with sam west!

they serenaded me, we made a divine chocolate cake and awkwardly delivered some to mike,

sam forced us to let him buy dinner [SO NICE], and they effectively proved to be completely adorable.

 why is my skin as pale as a ghost, you ask? beats me.

 cutest. ever. such a matching hippie and eclectic and weepies-esque sort of couple. i adore it.

sarah ann syphus and i skyped with mrs.watson!

cute little wife that she is these days in north carolina.

annnddddd she has a southern accent now that pops up here and there.

cutest thing ever. and okay, sarah and i were laughing pretty hard about it too.

mama rozster and i went to humor u together. our last hurrah.

i won't see this girl in person again for at least 2 years. sad, huh?

well, ros ros. you must write me letters once the gchatting days become forbidden.

aka, once i leave.

all this mostly means. i looove you. and will miss you.

(and what will our drain do without your intense self to clean it? yeah, i don't know either.)

that's all folks. mostly.

bring it on craziest week ever. i heart midterms that are all at the same time for all classes.

and maybe my call might probably most likely be coming this week. nbd. no big deal.

aka, i'm freaking out in excitement.