sleep

yesterday and today I didn't have to work early...so I got to sleep in as late as I wanted.

[which ended up being until almost 12...]

it was the first time since June 6th when my mom forced me to sleep in after graduation.

it was heavenly, to say the least.

not having to worry about waking up late and missing something.

being able to sleep until i felt sufficiently rested and ready to face the already buzzing, but still lazy summer day.

although it did make me grateful that i have to get up in the mornings,

though i do hate it so.

because on days like yesterday and today..

i feel so very lazy.

which after awhile, makes me feel gross.

so i'm glad it's not something i do every day.

but once in awhile?

i must admit:

it can be so rejuvenating and liberating.

it's the greatest thing ever.

:)

childhood creeps away

I should have been cleaning my room or doing something productive tonight..but I found the following to be much more satisfying. enjoy!

I love this picture. I think both Doug and Steven look adorable and my lovely Grandmother (in between the boys) looks particularly beautiful.
precious.
hahaha. I just love this one because Steve looks so ticked that I dared to touch the book. Bahaha. He would.
No need to tell me. I know we're the cutest 3 you've ever seen. Especially those rockin' outfits the boys are sporting. Indeed. They had a thing for dinosaurs, I won't lie.
A pathetically common occurrence in our house...Steven William shoving me into a laundry basket and covering me with blankets..
Steve looks like that couple of seconds for the picture was just too long for him to be away from playtime. Darn. :)
I look ridiculous in this...but I love it because you can see my face now in this face of the past.
Oldest 3 on the Hales side..looking prime as always. Let's just say that ugly/awkward stage lasted quite awhile for us.....
Check out that flower in my hair..the love & obsession started early. :))
My bow is pretty stylish. And also as big as my head. Wow. We were cuuuutee..



just taking the stroll down memory lane
that leads away into dreamland..

haunting

"The chief cause of failure and unhappiness in this life

is trading what we want most for what we want at that moment"

This is a quote that will forever haunt me. There's just not getting around that fact. The famed Jack Ashton, whom I used to take violin lessons from for 3 years, had this quote in multiple places in his home/studio. Especially right where I walked into his home/studio and then a HUGE one on the door of his studio. It kills me. I have faced such an unknown relationship with my violin in my last few years, especially this last year. And I always feared that my hate of practicing or lessons or whatever was just trading silly high school temporary desires for something lasting and important, like my pursuit of violin. All that is a story for another day, but in everything I do, that quote will ALWAYS stick with me. ALWAYS. I just can't get it out of my head, even if I wanted to...which is sometimes quite unfortunate and it pops up in all the moments that I'd least like to think of it. But again, this is a story for another day. Someday.

Someday I'll go back. Someday I'll bring myself to return. But for now, I just can't. It was too long. Too painful. It's going to take some time. I know myself. Fools rush in. I can't rush in. It would be too much. It is too much. It will take all of me to get there.

I am getting there, though. Eventually.

so exciting!

my macbook came today :)

I'm happy. that's all there is to it!

the most ironic part of all is that while i was down at byu today, Doug and I found this quote on a little tile thing in the bookstore: "whoever said money can't buy happiness obviously isn't shopping in the right stores."

haha :) not to sound greedy or material or anything. I'm just excited.

It's so pretty! I think I could really just sit and look at it for hours. :)

7:53

it's 7:53 a.m.

i got up and showered-for the first time in days-at 7:20. in the morning.

i want to crawl back into bed.

now.

stubborn.

i realized today that i'm rather stubborn.

you know when you're in a store, and one of the workers ask you how you're doing or if you need help finding anything?
i always say, "yep. thanks, though!" or "nope, i'm just looking, thanks."

well today, just after being confronted by one such kind sales clerk, i realized the fact that i had been wandering through aisles looking for one thing and i could have easily asked him just where to find it. did i? no. rather, i wandered aimlessly with my nice full cart until i sufficiently found what i was looking for all by myself.

thank you customer service. since you're obviously providing so much service to customers like me...

the birth of friendship

Friendship is born at that moment

when one person says to another, “What! You too?
I thought I was the only one.”
- C.S. Lewis

hmm...

I'm in a rather mellow, contemplative, deep thinking sort of mood,
though I don't quite know what about yet.
There are a lot of things I suppose.
I'll figure it out someday..

Life. So much changing. So much to learn..
about people, and the way they act. What is acceptable. What to do.
Places. More people. Different. And yet so much the same. Life.

'i feel like being inspired'

Dead middle of junior year. You know how it is, one of those grunge days stuck in the middle of the year with nothing very close to look forward to, everything else exciting has passed. Just stuck in the middle. It's lunchtime..but we're all sitting there pretty quietly...what do you say? There's nothing to say. Everyone feels the same way. Weary of it all. And here is Emily sitting there next to me [a rare occasion during that particular year..] and all of a sudden she gets out her ipod and as she and I are listening to it together, she all of a sudden flips to a certain song saying,

"I feel like being inspired."

I'll be honest. I laughed. I thought nothing of it at the time as she proceeded to play 'Best Days' by Graham Colton. I liked the song. It was quite popular on the radio and such at the time so I figured "no big deal." She can go ahead with her insparation, I'll listen. Fine with me. But I can't get that phrase out of my head. I feel like being inspired. It sounds so silly, but it is so fitting in so many different situations. All the time it pops into my head. I should have learned a lesson from her earlier. But I was too stubborn for that. I absolutely love music and lyrics and quotes. I love that feeling of being inspired by something so simple as a song that lasts only a few minutes or a quote of only a few words. Especially scriptures. I love that there are so many gems that can be picked out in just one or two verses, even when pulled out of context, they stand on their own and inspire. It's quite a concept. Inspiration. It can have so many different meanings. My favorite definition: 'the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions'. Inspiration moves you. Moves you to what? I don't know. Anything. Anything you allow it to move you towards. A person. An action. A feeling. A softening of hearts. Anything you'll let it. But that's just it. YOU have to be willing to absorb it and let that inspiration fill you up and change you. After all, another definition of inspiration is 'the act of drawing in.' You do the math. :)

inspire.

2 months

2 months.

61 days.

what?


can't wait!!

differences

"But hey, it could be worse. It could be raining."

Love
Elder Steven Nevers

are we related?

disappearing every day without so much as a word

are you still alive?

because sometimes i wonder lately.

you haven't written in awhile.

to anyone.

but just thought i'd see if your heart was still beating.

is it?

freshmen.

.high school.college.
.freshmen.


when did this happen?
is there really that much of a difference?
i don't even look old enough to be going to college.
hmm.
i swear it was yesterday that we
ran through the sprinklers
and
played with ants
and
fought off the constant teasing of our brothers.
.time flies.

laughter

"The most wasted of all days
is one without laughter."
-e.e. cummings

"The human race
has only one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter."
- Mark Twain

the music.

my favorite songs.
the top 3.
(in no particular order)
that get me through.
no matter what.
especially this past little while.

Never Alone.
Jim Brickman [feat. Lady Antebellum]
"So when hard times have found you
And your fear surrounds you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone"




I Will Rest In You.
Mindy Gledhill
"Oh, I want to be
In the place that I once knew as a little child,
Fall into the bed of faith prepared for me...
tell me that you love me for the fool i am,
and comfort me like only you can."




Storm.
Lifehouse
"And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright."

storybook ending.

i thought i was so very far past ready for this graduation business.
but there are some aspects of it..
that i don't think i can handle.

this week i was reminded
of why i'm not friends with certain people,
but in all reality
i was smacked in the face with how much i love the true friends i do have.

i'm scared.
scared of losing them.
scared of being forgotten.
scared that things can never be the same again.
scared to lose touch.
i'm scared.

lauren.
michelle.
emily.
becca.
olivia.
madrigals.

every. single. one of them. seriously.
anyone that has ever made a difference in my life,
even if only for a short time.
and then they are gone.
:(

i've found the people that don't just show up for a little while.
but are there to stay.
for me. for them.
a mutual bond of love and fellowship.
and i'm eternally grateful.
so why,
deep down,
am i still scared?
scared to lose them.

sara

so there's this girl named sara michelle ence.

and i absolutely love her.
we are practically the same person, actually.
we have so many things in common.
including the things we love, hopes for the future, and just the way we think :)

in a nutshell?
porch swings.
lemonade.
rain.
sunflowers. fields of them.
the bakery.
poetry.
sundresses that spin.
sun hats.
morning hikes.
cottage.
good hair days.
carrier pigeons.
old library books.
roses.
sun and rain together.
puddles.
dancing in the rain.
sunshine.
on top of the world.
pure happiness.
LOVE.

there's nothing I love more than those long meaningful chats that spurt up out of the blue and cover a whole spectrum of topics. nothing in the whole world can compare. <3