Friday, July 30, 2010
perpetual ovation
my cousin deborah ann is a poet. a good one, at that. you have a gift, deb. this is truth, indeed. and i find this beautiful. so beautiful, in fact, that i want to share it with anyone willing to read it [which is who...like 4 people? ha..my bloggity is loved.] and i want to save it somewhere special to be looked at whenever i so desire. because i like beautiful things. and what would life be without them? i love this. and i love deb. thanks for sharing your beautiful words with me. beautiful as a word so simple and overused, doesn't do your words justice.
.......
Symphonic Bliss
"A congregation of sunflowers attend the ingenious work
of Mother Nature in the opera house of outer-doors
Practiced katydids begin the symphony constant in it's hopping flow- ever complemented
by the delicate embroidering buzzes of ladybirds and bumbling bees
The shimmer of the aspens and the brush of the entwining Columbine and grass
are only tenors in Nature's saluting fanfare
While the strong and quiet pattering of a distant cascade and the treble beat accent the concerto,
the true stars of the tune are at work
Royal Bluejay and Playful Mockingbird create a gleeful duet
bounding as they banter over the more thrilling the adventure,
the more fervent the love, the more fiery the hatred
They twitter a strain so astounding, so awe striking,
they provoke every attendee of the theatric to applause
The meadow in which the sunny audience is standing, a smile on every face,
in perpetual ovation of Mother Nature's finest work;
Silence."
--deborah ann ricks
related afterthought:
related afterthought:
"all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof,
are made for the benefit and the use of man,
both to please the eye and to gladden the heart;
yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell,
to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul."
--d&c 59:18
la plus belle, n'est-ce pas?
are made for the benefit and the use of man,
both to please the eye and to gladden the heart;
yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell,
to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul."
--d&c 59:18
la plus belle, n'est-ce pas?
Thursday, July 29, 2010
walking in between the sunrise and sunset
"go where you want to go, be what you want to be. if you ever turn around, you'll see me. i can't really say why everybody wishes they were somewhere else. in the end the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself."
"you look darkly on the day with memories to light your way. a little sad but it's alright, we are always living in twilight...living in a dream...step out into twilight."
among others.
among others.
i'm going through a major weepies phase right now. that is all.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
for the record
--steven now potentially has something to live for to avoid being sent to jail. yeyahhhh.
--my day has been made many times.
--why do people find it so smile-worthy to see someone walking with shoes in hand and barefoot? i don't understand.
--i smiled all the way home tonight while texting claira and listening to "emily" by lady a.
--my d&c prof said something hilarious tonight, and yet i can't remember what it was. which is frustrating.
--taryn texted me tonight and it made me smile like crazy. cassi texted me earlier today which also made me smile like crazy. michelle jean also texted me tonight..have you noticed the pattern? i've done lots of smiling. and catching up.
--i spilled milk on kaitlin's bed tonight on accident. oops. shhhh..
--yes i did avoid reading the e-mail about wedding stuff for as long as possible. as in HOURS.
--indexing makes claira go caa-raaazy.
--i got wedding invitations in the mail two days in a row. hahahaha.
--yes i am so tired i could cry and i think my eyes are starting to roll back into my head.
--kaitlin's status on facebook has changed twice today about stupid things i've done. bahahahaha.
--i stole a bunch of music from kaitlin tonight. awesome. {yes i do still hate that word. i can't help it.}
--i'm so rad. literally. oh my gosh. please don't wake me in the morning. i feel like i could sleep for a week straight. dumb stats. i sure hope she's funny tomorrow so it's worth it.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
stevie wonder
s: "you know me, very indecisive: firefox, chrome, safari, chrome, safari, firefox..."
e: "baaaaaahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha."
s: "i almost felt sympathy for the chimps...almost. man, i look like a terrible person. the imaginary audience to the movie we are in now thinks i'm a jerk."
....
s: "my imaginary audience probably thinks that more bad things should happen to me, because i didn't have the same sympathy for the animals. seriously my own audience is turning against me."
e: "well, if it makes you feel any better, i was out of the running long ago."
s: "it really is sad, my own subconscious going against me. no, i think you're still in because you are related to me and are stuck with me for the next four months or so."
e: "this is true. and i'm stuck with wedding plans, homework and reading up the wazoo that has not been touched as much as it should have been. oh gosh golly.."
s: "tell doug to elope, then just body slam your homework and reading into submission."
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha.
i heart my brother.
facebook chat is a life sucker. no wonder i only go online like once a month.
"i guess if it's right it will all work out. if not, it was never meant to be."
facebook chat is a life sucker. no wonder i only go online like once a month.
"i guess if it's right it will all work out. if not, it was never meant to be."
you're not lost
today i made more people smile when they saw me walking with my shoes in my hands, not on my feet. all the while smiling to my melodies.
today i reminisced. and looked at beautiful memories. and then played the "what if" game. maybe with a few pieces of regret.
today i realized that i'm too nice. and sometimes i wish i could just say what i really think. the thing i want to say, but never will.
today i sang along to my melodies. and when kaitlin just looked at me, i gave her the emily face and laughed a big, hearty, open mouth laugh. and then sing a little bit more. and then laugh at even more at how funny the moment looked. i dearly love to laugh. the kind of laugh in which all the cares in the world have disappeared, and all that remains is the pure and simple joy. the kind of laugh that you can hear, even in just a snapshot of the moment. the kind you can imagine being played slow motion in a beautiful film. the kind of laugh that fills the world with carefree happiness.
today i read some blogs of people i don't even know, and thought about how beautiful this world is. for this is what i love about blogging--the best blogs are windows into a person's soul. the ability to have the life story chat with them, without even knowing them, and soon you know the beauty of their soul. and when it's someone you DO know? all the better. i wish i could have a big long talk with everyone in the world and learn their life story. you learn so much about a person when they are recounting their life to you. what do they choose to include? that's what they see as most defining and important. why? quite frankly, it's fascinating. i love learning all about a person and the depths of them. deeper and more meaningful chats--skip the fluff.
today i cried when 'temporary home' played. i've yet to be able to sing along to the final verse without choking up tears, instead. {"old man, hospital bed. the room is filled with people he loves. and he whispers, 'don't cry for me, i'll see you all someday.' he looks up and says, 'i can see god's face. this is my temporary home. it's not where i belong. windows and rooms that i'm passing through. this is just a stop. on the way to where i'm going. i'm not afraid because i know, this is my temporary home.'"}
today i have a heart full of words. i feel contemplative. and the day is only half over. i feel like discovering the mysteries of the universe.
today i reminisced. and looked at beautiful memories. and then played the "what if" game. maybe with a few pieces of regret.
today i realized that i'm too nice. and sometimes i wish i could just say what i really think. the thing i want to say, but never will.
today i sang along to my melodies. and when kaitlin just looked at me, i gave her the emily face and laughed a big, hearty, open mouth laugh. and then sing a little bit more. and then laugh at even more at how funny the moment looked. i dearly love to laugh. the kind of laugh in which all the cares in the world have disappeared, and all that remains is the pure and simple joy. the kind of laugh that you can hear, even in just a snapshot of the moment. the kind you can imagine being played slow motion in a beautiful film. the kind of laugh that fills the world with carefree happiness.
today i read some blogs of people i don't even know, and thought about how beautiful this world is. for this is what i love about blogging--the best blogs are windows into a person's soul. the ability to have the life story chat with them, without even knowing them, and soon you know the beauty of their soul. and when it's someone you DO know? all the better. i wish i could have a big long talk with everyone in the world and learn their life story. you learn so much about a person when they are recounting their life to you. what do they choose to include? that's what they see as most defining and important. why? quite frankly, it's fascinating. i love learning all about a person and the depths of them. deeper and more meaningful chats--skip the fluff.
today i cried when 'temporary home' played. i've yet to be able to sing along to the final verse without choking up tears, instead. {"old man, hospital bed. the room is filled with people he loves. and he whispers, 'don't cry for me, i'll see you all someday.' he looks up and says, 'i can see god's face. this is my temporary home. it's not where i belong. windows and rooms that i'm passing through. this is just a stop. on the way to where i'm going. i'm not afraid because i know, this is my temporary home.'"}
today i have a heart full of words. i feel contemplative. and the day is only half over. i feel like discovering the mysteries of the universe.
Monday, July 26, 2010
smile at the bees
today was...
the kind of day that i take the irresponsible route and rollover and go back to sleep as many times as possible.
the kind of day that i wore a dress.
the kind of day i walked home barefoot. back to campus barefoot. and home again barefoot.
the kind of day that i text my brother during stats about my dream last night. and reassure him that it is not a premonition and he has nothing to worry about.
the kind of day that i text la all through stats just so i can tell her all the funny things my professor says. just so she can be confused at how weird this place is and giggle with me.
the kind of day that i send la texts about a cookie dough and kool aid date.
the kind of day that i give sara michelle a whole bunch of song suggestions--la musique du cœur.
the kind of day that i think i'm so funny with the comments i leave on laur's bloggity blog.
the kind of day that i sit by myself on one of my favorite tables under the shade of a big tree that provides internet, quiet to study, and excellent people watching.
the kind of day that i can't control my giggles when i left my comment on la la's blog. {click here if you're intrigued.}
the kind of day that i start giggling even when i'm sitting alone pretending to study as i leave that comment, and trying to restrain my laughter as i pretend i'm doing something productive . i hope i made someone's day who was sitting near me if they saw my failed attempts at restraining the laughter.
the kind of day that i burst into laughter, even NINE hours later when i think about my comment. and then laugh harder at how ridiculous it is that i think it's so funny.
the kind of day that i made the guy who walked past me smile and chuckle under his breath as he saw me walking home in the sunshine: smiling, barefoot, and jamming to my stellar playlist. and he probably thinks i didn't even notice his amusement. ha!
the kind of day that i exchanged smiles with the man in the little tractor on the corner across from my apartment. because it was that kind of day. and that's the kind of mood that playlist puts me in. and i think he was laughing just like the guy i walked past.
the kind of day that steven texts me just to tell me about his improving wardrobe and fashion skills.
the kind of day that just thinking about cassi's funny monster's inc. voice makes me giggle. and her soul power.
the kind of day that i keep saying awesome, even though i really don't like that word. but just can't help it.
the kind of day that i checked the mail with a spoon of chocolate frosting in my hand.
the kind of day that i get a special wedding invitation in the mail of the best looking couple in the world, also known as dougy and sherry sunshine.
the kind of day that i plan an ice cream date with becca, just because i can. i love becca and i love ice cream. creamery cookies and cream with a cone on top especially..mmm!
the kind of day that i reminisce about my violining days with joy and a pang of mourning.
the kind of day that i get a good laugh out of the silly freshman that screamed freshman from day one as he walks past beccer and me with his far too large backpack considering he lives in helaman. and then i end up, by chance, sitting right next to him in class. and then, of course, let out a little laugh to myself at the joy in it.
the kind of day that my paper for music gets cancelled. cancelled forever, my mother asks? forever, indeed. that man is a saint.
the kind of day that i text my mommy and brother about my paper being cancelled, just because i know they'll be excited for me too.
the kind of day that dr. howard decides to give his soap box speech about marriage, instigated by the mention of "the doll's house" by henrik ibsen. a kind of little speech about marriage given at byu that i agree with, for once. that goes against the fold of the usual opinions. the kind of speech that reminds me of olivia rose vessel and chats we've had before. what a relief to find a sane opinion around these parts.
the kind of day that i reminisce about when we played stravinsky's firebird suite. way back when. berceuse and finale. love it. {want to hear? click here. it's an excellent recording of stravinsky himself conducting.}
the kind of day that dr.howard tells a funny story about stravinsky because his doctorate advisor was friends with him (igor stravinsky, that is). and he pauses the documentary just to remark that he's such a cute old man with a wicked little smile.
the kind of day that i wait for claira at the top of the hill after class, by the flower entrance, and giggle when i see her walking towards me because she's walking with shoes in hand too, just like me. and then giggle more thinking of how awesome we look to the others walking down the hill--both in dresses with white shirts beneath, barefoot, shoes in hand, backpack. yeyahhh.
the kind of day that i find a funny comment on a wedding picture that reminds me of another one laureste and i found more than a year ago. a really funny, giggle because you shouldn't find it so funny, should be bad, kind of funny.
the kind of day that i open my stats assignment due later tonight to find that only three problems are left, and the rest were done in lab. a fact i had forgotten.
the kind of day that i listen to my stellar playlist again. and revel in michael bublé's voice. and joy in every little melody of every song.
the kind of day that my daddy texts me, just because he got caught in the rain on the walk and therefore his pants are wet as can be, and to tell me what he had for dinner.
the kind of day that even my daddy says life is good.
the kind of day that i get an e-mail from my home teacher filled with nothing but ridiculously amazing sandcastles/sculptures. ha ha. loved it.
the kind of day that i laugh and feel ridiculous about how much i love david archuleta's new song. and about how much i've listened to it. what a stud. live and let live. {click here. it's absolutely stellar.}
the kind of day that i think about reading some scriptures and going to bed early, just because i can.
the kind of day that i end with a smile. a big smile. while listening to lemonade. god above stirs with a spoon, we share the moon, smile at the bees, more sugar please. he really loves us after all. we're gonna need another straw!
the kind of day that i call a good day. nay, i daresay: a best day.
life is good.
the kind of day that i take the irresponsible route and rollover and go back to sleep as many times as possible.
the kind of day that i wore a dress.
the kind of day i walked home barefoot. back to campus barefoot. and home again barefoot.
the kind of day that i text my brother during stats about my dream last night. and reassure him that it is not a premonition and he has nothing to worry about.
the kind of day that i text la all through stats just so i can tell her all the funny things my professor says. just so she can be confused at how weird this place is and giggle with me.
the kind of day that i send la texts about a cookie dough and kool aid date.
the kind of day that i give sara michelle a whole bunch of song suggestions--la musique du cœur.
the kind of day that i think i'm so funny with the comments i leave on laur's bloggity blog.
the kind of day that i sit by myself on one of my favorite tables under the shade of a big tree that provides internet, quiet to study, and excellent people watching.
the kind of day that i can't control my giggles when i left my comment on la la's blog. {click here if you're intrigued.}
the kind of day that i start giggling even when i'm sitting alone pretending to study as i leave that comment, and trying to restrain my laughter as i pretend i'm doing something productive . i hope i made someone's day who was sitting near me if they saw my failed attempts at restraining the laughter.
the kind of day that i burst into laughter, even NINE hours later when i think about my comment. and then laugh harder at how ridiculous it is that i think it's so funny.
the kind of day that i made the guy who walked past me smile and chuckle under his breath as he saw me walking home in the sunshine: smiling, barefoot, and jamming to my stellar playlist. and he probably thinks i didn't even notice his amusement. ha!
the kind of day that i exchanged smiles with the man in the little tractor on the corner across from my apartment. because it was that kind of day. and that's the kind of mood that playlist puts me in. and i think he was laughing just like the guy i walked past.
the kind of day that steven texts me just to tell me about his improving wardrobe and fashion skills.
the kind of day that just thinking about cassi's funny monster's inc. voice makes me giggle. and her soul power.the kind of day that i keep saying awesome, even though i really don't like that word. but just can't help it.
the kind of day that i checked the mail with a spoon of chocolate frosting in my hand.
the kind of day that i get a special wedding invitation in the mail of the best looking couple in the world, also known as dougy and sherry sunshine.
the kind of day that i plan an ice cream date with becca, just because i can. i love becca and i love ice cream. creamery cookies and cream with a cone on top especially..mmm!
the kind of day that i reminisce about my violining days with joy and a pang of mourning.
the kind of day that i get a good laugh out of the silly freshman that screamed freshman from day one as he walks past beccer and me with his far too large backpack considering he lives in helaman. and then i end up, by chance, sitting right next to him in class. and then, of course, let out a little laugh to myself at the joy in it.
the kind of day that my paper for music gets cancelled. cancelled forever, my mother asks? forever, indeed. that man is a saint.
the kind of day that i text my mommy and brother about my paper being cancelled, just because i know they'll be excited for me too.
the kind of day that dr. howard decides to give his soap box speech about marriage, instigated by the mention of "the doll's house" by henrik ibsen. a kind of little speech about marriage given at byu that i agree with, for once. that goes against the fold of the usual opinions. the kind of speech that reminds me of olivia rose vessel and chats we've had before. what a relief to find a sane opinion around these parts.
the kind of day that i reminisce about when we played stravinsky's firebird suite. way back when. berceuse and finale. love it. {want to hear? click here. it's an excellent recording of stravinsky himself conducting.}
the kind of day that dr.howard tells a funny story about stravinsky because his doctorate advisor was friends with him (igor stravinsky, that is). and he pauses the documentary just to remark that he's such a cute old man with a wicked little smile.
the kind of day that i wait for claira at the top of the hill after class, by the flower entrance, and giggle when i see her walking towards me because she's walking with shoes in hand too, just like me. and then giggle more thinking of how awesome we look to the others walking down the hill--both in dresses with white shirts beneath, barefoot, shoes in hand, backpack. yeyahhh.
the kind of day that i find a funny comment on a wedding picture that reminds me of another one laureste and i found more than a year ago. a really funny, giggle because you shouldn't find it so funny, should be bad, kind of funny.
the kind of day that i open my stats assignment due later tonight to find that only three problems are left, and the rest were done in lab. a fact i had forgotten.
the kind of day that i listen to my stellar playlist again. and revel in michael bublé's voice. and joy in every little melody of every song.
the kind of day that my daddy texts me, just because he got caught in the rain on the walk and therefore his pants are wet as can be, and to tell me what he had for dinner.
the kind of day that even my daddy says life is good.
the kind of day that i get an e-mail from my home teacher filled with nothing but ridiculously amazing sandcastles/sculptures. ha ha. loved it.
the kind of day that i laugh and feel ridiculous about how much i love david archuleta's new song. and about how much i've listened to it. what a stud. live and let live. {click here. it's absolutely stellar.}
the kind of day that i think about reading some scriptures and going to bed early, just because i can.
the kind of day that i end with a smile. a big smile. while listening to lemonade. god above stirs with a spoon, we share the moon, smile at the bees, more sugar please. he really loves us after all. we're gonna need another straw!
the kind of day that i call a good day. nay, i daresay: a best day.
life is good.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
what i love about sundays
in no particular order, this is what i love about sundays. this sunday, in particular. and life in general.
•sundress and giraffe flats.
•a ponytail far too messy for church standards, and yet all was alright, nonetheless.
•summer morning sun.
•sleepy sacrament meeting.
•reading more for myself than listening to the last few talks. {i'm a sinner i know. but tianne's talk to start it off was excellent.}
•uplifting moments, completely unrelated to the material mentioned. i feel like my focus level was not centered on the lessons shared in church for the most part, but on myself. bad? you decide.
•the remains of my shake from iceberg.
•mooching food from doug. yeyahh.
•ring decision.
•laundry hand-holding.
•patriarchal blessing.
•peace and assurance.
•realizing that i get jealous way too easily. but then being comforted away from that feeling.
•realizing that i get jealous way too easily. but then being comforted away from that feeling.
•memories. journal reminiscing.
•journal catch-up. i don't want to talk about it, ok? someday i won't be so awful at writing in a paper journal. maybe?
•good and bad memories revisited during catchup. the bad were filled with peace now, though. what's done is done. i don't think things will be the same ever.
•nap. at least three hours kind of nap. in a sunbeam. that's what i'm talkin' about.
•doug's leftovers. yum.
•set-the game. ok, so i'm not so good. tianne is a whiz.
•nice notes.
•roommate world is good-better than ever, thank heavens.
•people finally updating blogs and giving me something to stalk through. :)
•voice of the man who reads scriptures online. been the same since i was five. ahhhhhaaha.
•talking. simple and nice.
•sarah is NOT engaged, never fear. despite something suggesting otherwise on our fridge.
•romania ideas.
•17 days till school is done. 20 days to the wedding!
i love sundays. simply and purely beautiful.
a day set aside filled with rest and love.
absolutely divine. literally.
and now back to the scary to-do list. wahoooooooo.
a day set aside filled with rest and love.
absolutely divine. literally.
and now back to the scary to-do list. wahoooooooo.
i'd hate to see out of control
i know, i know. everyone is going crazy over this movie. the thing is? it really is that good. and SO intriguing.
"dreams feel real while we're in them. it's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange."
fascinating idea. think about it. if someone dug to the depths of your subconscious, what would appear? what would prove to be completely most important to you? who would you be killing yourself to save, or to reconcile with? are you really happy and at peace with your past? makes you think.
yes i did cry at the end. and yes i am starting to realize that i'm the only one in the universe who did. don't judge me.
final notes: leonardo dicaprio is an absolute stud. hands down. joseph-gordon leavitt? incredible. stud material. he did an excellent job in this movie.
dreams are fascinating things.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
walk on
i just made a to-do list of things i need to do for classes for this next week or during this next week. yeah. you don't even want to know. i almost cried when i looked at it in its entirety. and that's just this week. yum.
by the numbers:
by the numbers: 4 more d&c classes.
4 more stats labs.
4 more music classes.
7 more stats classes.
1 more music id exam.
2 more testing center finals.
1 more online final with the guilt trip warning against cheating that convinces you for life.
9 more chapters of stats.
11 more stats assignments.
1 more music paper.
4 more d&c writing assignments.
too many more pages of music readings to count.
12 more music scores.
26 more sections of d&c to read.
54 more sections of d&c to read for extra credit.
too few hours of sleep.
18 more days away from freedom. scholastic freedom, at least.
p.s. kaitlin is making me a tie-dye shirt since i have to spend the day doing homework and can't join them. i have the best roomie. :)
Thursday, July 22, 2010
pretty. tan. lonely. dtr. love.
tonight claira walked into my apartment and up to my room and this is the conversation we had.
c: "i feel like i should have a key to your apartment for how often i just let myself in."
e: "agreed. you probably should. let's be honest."
c: "yeah. you look tan right now. it looks pretty."
e: "are you mocking me??"
[this refers to a conversation we had earlier today at the candy counter. no big. you don't want to know.]
c: "nooo! i'm serious! your face looks pretty."
[laughter]
e: "please get a paper and write that and then put it on my billboard. bulletin board. same thing."
c: "please. don't flatter yourself."
[claira writes a note. that looks like this:
oh hey emily, your face looks
pretty
today.
[sizing proportions the same.]]
c: i didn't mean to mock you...but the way i wrote this kind of sounds like it.
[emily looks at the paper. intense laughter ensues.]
then she dropped a push pin in my bed, that is clear and we never found.
then we went on a walk and had a dtr. i feel like we both feel really good about things, and are now on the same page with our feelings. and then we swung for awhile and talked about how silly byu girl habits are. and how we just can't help it.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha.
i've laughed a lot today. and when i say a lot? i mean a lot.
including laughing at myself as i jammed out to my awesome playlist when i went to pick up kaitlin. i bet i looked rad to the driver's of other cars. hahaha..
including laughing at myself as i jammed out to my awesome playlist when i went to pick up kaitlin. i bet i looked rad to the driver's of other cars. hahaha..
life is goood.
p.s. did i mention that i love it when people call me em or ems? but that i'm picky about it if someone calls me either too early in a friendship. that's the only time i'm picky. and violation of such has only happened once in my life. in general--i loooove it. i had forgotten how much i do. love, love, love!
p.s. did i mention that i love it when people call me em or ems? but that i'm picky about it if someone calls me either too early in a friendship. that's the only time i'm picky. and violation of such has only happened once in my life. in general--i loooove it. i had forgotten how much i do. love, love, love!
and we can fly, fly, fly away
when i was in st.george in june, i created a new playlist. not just any playlist. a playlist that originated back when i was spending my warm summer nights biking through the calm and empty streets around the cottages and green valley. such a playlist, by default, must be unique. only the best of the best are allowed. all time favorites, only. songs that are whimsical, songs that induce smiles, songs that make you think, songs to listen to and ponder on a warm summer's night. those kinds of songs. i'm still working on it, and there are only 23 songs, so far. each song is subject to intense scrutiny before being allowed into this exclusive grouping.
my point? it's a great collection. i daresay, one of the best playlists ever made. quite frankly, it is the best.
seriously, people. you should start bidding now for inheritance of my collection of music when i die. because it is ohhhh, so good. applications are now being accepted. advantage will go to the highest bidder. but i have to like you an awful lot, too. love, would be a better descriptor. bestowing such an enormous part of my soul is no small task. that said, let the bidding begin!
ha ha. i think i'm so funny. honestly, people. music is a priceless pearl that beams inside the soul.
p.s. title of this post comes from michael bublé's one and only, 'lost'. and just happens to be the title of aforementioned playlist (fly, fly, fly away) if you are not currently well aquainted with, or have not yet reached the status of good friends with this song, go look it up. now. and revel in every word and sound. the musical melody is quite atypical, and seemingly unusual. which makes it all the more wonderful, in my professional opinion. i would try to describe the fusion of the song as a whole, but can thing of no words adequate enough to express. therefore, just listen to the song itself. i'll even help you: here is a link to the song. i've never watched the video, so i have no comment on the video. i suggest listening with eyes closed and reveling or just with the video out of sight. at least for the first time. because i feel like the video would be distracting. instead, revel in the moments of the song itself standing purely and completely on its own. ahhhhhhhh. there are no words.
p.p.s. i really should just break down and buy a cheapster, but functional, bike to use in provo, as well.
p.p.p.s. you'd better believe i'll be doing the same each night we are in st.george in a few weeks, lauren celeste. whether or not you want to join me, i am gliding through the empty streets, feeling the wind breeze through me during those warm evenings as i listen to musical genius. savvy? good. on that note: you are, of course, welcome to join and do the same. :)
my point? it's a great collection. i daresay, one of the best playlists ever made. quite frankly, it is the best.
seriously, people. you should start bidding now for inheritance of my collection of music when i die. because it is ohhhh, so good. applications are now being accepted. advantage will go to the highest bidder. but i have to like you an awful lot, too. love, would be a better descriptor. bestowing such an enormous part of my soul is no small task. that said, let the bidding begin!
ha ha. i think i'm so funny. honestly, people. music is a priceless pearl that beams inside the soul.
p.s. title of this post comes from michael bublé's one and only, 'lost'. and just happens to be the title of aforementioned playlist (fly, fly, fly away) if you are not currently well aquainted with, or have not yet reached the status of good friends with this song, go look it up. now. and revel in every word and sound. the musical melody is quite atypical, and seemingly unusual. which makes it all the more wonderful, in my professional opinion. i would try to describe the fusion of the song as a whole, but can thing of no words adequate enough to express. therefore, just listen to the song itself. i'll even help you: here is a link to the song. i've never watched the video, so i have no comment on the video. i suggest listening with eyes closed and reveling or just with the video out of sight. at least for the first time. because i feel like the video would be distracting. instead, revel in the moments of the song itself standing purely and completely on its own. ahhhhhhhh. there are no words.
p.p.s. i really should just break down and buy a cheapster, but functional, bike to use in provo, as well.
p.p.p.s. you'd better believe i'll be doing the same each night we are in st.george in a few weeks, lauren celeste. whether or not you want to join me, i am gliding through the empty streets, feeling the wind breeze through me during those warm evenings as i listen to musical genius. savvy? good. on that note: you are, of course, welcome to join and do the same. :)
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
habits
i've developed a new habit
{no, i'm not going to tell what the other embarrassing habit is that i mentioned in my last post. this is different.}
maybe because i've been listening to so much of it lately?
when i hear music of the classical sort,
i start to move with the music. and be enveloped by it.
mentally, yes. but not quite what i mean.
physically, i start to move. sway, if you will.
without realizing i'm doing so until a ways more into the piece. i become connected to the music.
i've noticed that i do so particularly a lot with beethoven.
{i'm still in love with his fifth symphony. genius! those violins in the beginning of the third movement get me every time.
and then the horns in the fourth movement getting their word in..ohh heavens i adore it.}
in addition to this swaying, my hands lift themselves into motion,
as if i'm standing before a symphony or performer conducting the music as it ebbs and flows.
as if i'm standing before a symphony or performer conducting the music as it ebbs and flows.
absolutely divine.
it's starting to creep me out a little bit.
and probably would creep other people out,
if there happened to be people around when such an occurrence occurs.
their loss to see such a sight, i'm sure.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
it's an uphill human race
1. i'm still ticked, though only slightly, about a certain something. something which i will not mention. but i will say this. in the words of my brother, "you're better off being a pessimist. if things go bad, it's nothing shocking. when something good happens--you're pleasantly surprised." keeping low expectations is the way to go. "the optimist says this is the best of all possible worlds. the pessimist fears this is so." ok, so maybe i probably have issues following that philosophy. and maybe my brother can have a slightly {and by slightly...well. you talk to him if you are concerned for his salvation. i can't say i 100 percent disagree.} depressing outlook at times---for now, in this situation: expect nothing and be pleasantly surprised. that is my philosophy. that is all i'm going to say about that. frustration has been vented and my priorities have remained aligned. and i've been pleasantly reminded of the steady and true aspects of my life. and the people that really matter. as the high councilor said in my ward on sunday: "keep the main things the main things in your life." wise, eh? indeed. you have to know what's really important. oh, how i do. i do, i do.
2. this past week has been such a slap in the face reality check of exactly that: keeping priorities in line. and an affirmation that my own opinions on some matters are not wrong. they only seem wrong to some people that happen to live in this city of mine and attend a particular university...mmhmm. that's a separate issue in and of itself. point is: because it is your life. that's scripture, you know. i think i'll take these words of wisdom ahead of certain other counsels that creep up 'round these parts. ahem. so maybe i don't quite fit the mold. oops.
3. reality check also applies everywhere else in my life. example: the priesthood is so taken for granted. in case you were wondering. it is. i myself am just as guilty. my roommate plus relief society lesson taught me that lesson.
4. don't get me wrong. this silly university of mine is wonderful in SO many ways and i'm grateful everyday. but in some other ways: admit it. you know the drill.
5. it's not about how much you give. it's about how much you keep. putting it all on the line? now that takes faith. and maybe, i'm guilty of not being sure if i could do so, as some early saints did.
6. statistics is a weird study. weird. and maybe, even if it drives me crazy many a day, i like that they treat it like a class of dummies. it's a nice relief. not to be arrogant, but i am no dummy. {oh, come on. let's be honest..the arrogance runs in the blood. you think i'm bad? go take a visit to any of the male members in my immediate family. ahem. they'll toot their horn for you, no need to ask.}
7. the construction on campus is driving me crazy. CRAZY. the drilling that hurts your ears if you walk past. the drilling that you can hear miles away. the drilling that shakes nearby buildings. classroom, and all. i'm just glad the building didn't collapse. if you know what in heaven's name they're doing outside the jsb or by the clyde, please enlighten me. i'd love to know the method to the madness.
8. i love my patriarchal blessing. i treasure it. every little word.
9. i have an awful new habit. i thought about admitting to it. but then have decided against it, because it's too embarrassing. guilty pleasure, in a way. well, actually. more like completely and totally ridiculous. i hate the portion that exists in every girl everywhere that is emotional and squeeemy and cutesy wish life was a chick flick. HATE it. it's absolutely completely and totally irrational. and yet, a girl i am, nonetheless. sticky situation, i know.
10. i'm a compulsive texter-backer. kaitlin and claira diagnosed me. i have a hard time NOT texting back. it's pathetic. i feel obligated unless someone else says final remarks that don't allow for any reply. ahhhhh. yesterday among my studying and test, though, i was slow replying to lots of people...and came out of the testing center feeling guilty. i'm being one hundred percent serious when i say that every text i sent in reply to texts received in the testing center was an apology for something i hadn't done or replied to. claira's rubbing off on me..shoot.
11. claira and i decided that my hygiene habits are just pure honesty to any guy i ever may date. he'll have to be accepting up front of them. but on the bright side, no surprises later on.
12. campus is beautiful. of that, there is no doubt. go grounds crew.
13. i realized today that i need to start preparing myself for when the hoards of people return. fall semester is closer than it seems. and maybe i don't know how i feel about people coming back. i was somewhat liking the relaxation of the summer solitude and separation. no offense, or anything. but that's the way i am. i like my me time, thank you very much.
14. i can hear courtney in her head violently opposing to my preferred solitude. she lives by a different philosophy. i, for one, prefer and agree with these viewpoints:
2. this past week has been such a slap in the face reality check of exactly that: keeping priorities in line. and an affirmation that my own opinions on some matters are not wrong. they only seem wrong to some people that happen to live in this city of mine and attend a particular university...mmhmm. that's a separate issue in and of itself. point is: because it is your life. that's scripture, you know. i think i'll take these words of wisdom ahead of certain other counsels that creep up 'round these parts. ahem. so maybe i don't quite fit the mold. oops.
3. reality check also applies everywhere else in my life. example: the priesthood is so taken for granted. in case you were wondering. it is. i myself am just as guilty. my roommate plus relief society lesson taught me that lesson.
4. don't get me wrong. this silly university of mine is wonderful in SO many ways and i'm grateful everyday. but in some other ways: admit it. you know the drill.
5. it's not about how much you give. it's about how much you keep. putting it all on the line? now that takes faith. and maybe, i'm guilty of not being sure if i could do so, as some early saints did.
6. statistics is a weird study. weird. and maybe, even if it drives me crazy many a day, i like that they treat it like a class of dummies. it's a nice relief. not to be arrogant, but i am no dummy. {oh, come on. let's be honest..the arrogance runs in the blood. you think i'm bad? go take a visit to any of the male members in my immediate family. ahem. they'll toot their horn for you, no need to ask.}
7. the construction on campus is driving me crazy. CRAZY. the drilling that hurts your ears if you walk past. the drilling that you can hear miles away. the drilling that shakes nearby buildings. classroom, and all. i'm just glad the building didn't collapse. if you know what in heaven's name they're doing outside the jsb or by the clyde, please enlighten me. i'd love to know the method to the madness.
8. i love my patriarchal blessing. i treasure it. every little word.
9. i have an awful new habit. i thought about admitting to it. but then have decided against it, because it's too embarrassing. guilty pleasure, in a way. well, actually. more like completely and totally ridiculous. i hate the portion that exists in every girl everywhere that is emotional and squeeemy and cutesy wish life was a chick flick. HATE it. it's absolutely completely and totally irrational. and yet, a girl i am, nonetheless. sticky situation, i know.
10. i'm a compulsive texter-backer. kaitlin and claira diagnosed me. i have a hard time NOT texting back. it's pathetic. i feel obligated unless someone else says final remarks that don't allow for any reply. ahhhhh. yesterday among my studying and test, though, i was slow replying to lots of people...and came out of the testing center feeling guilty. i'm being one hundred percent serious when i say that every text i sent in reply to texts received in the testing center was an apology for something i hadn't done or replied to. claira's rubbing off on me..shoot.
11. claira and i decided that my hygiene habits are just pure honesty to any guy i ever may date. he'll have to be accepting up front of them. but on the bright side, no surprises later on.
12. campus is beautiful. of that, there is no doubt. go grounds crew.
13. i realized today that i need to start preparing myself for when the hoards of people return. fall semester is closer than it seems. and maybe i don't know how i feel about people coming back. i was somewhat liking the relaxation of the summer solitude and separation. no offense, or anything. but that's the way i am. i like my me time, thank you very much.
14. i can hear courtney in her head violently opposing to my preferred solitude. she lives by a different philosophy. i, for one, prefer and agree with these viewpoints:
"When we cannot bear to be alone,
it means we do not properly value the only
companion we will have from birth to death - ourselves.”
it means we do not properly value the only
companion we will have from birth to death - ourselves.”
-Eda LeShan
“What a commentary on civilization,
when being alone is being suspect;
when one has to apologize for it, make excuses,
hide the fact that one practices it - like a secret vice.”
when being alone is being suspect;
when one has to apologize for it, make excuses,
hide the fact that one practices it - like a secret vice.”
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh
"We visit others as a matter of social obligation.
How long has it been since we have visited with ourselves?"
-Morris Adler
"It is only when we silent
the blaring sounds of our daily existence
that we can finally hear
the whispers of truth
that life reveals to us,
as it stands knocking on
the doorsteps of our hearts."
-K.T. Jong
"We visit others as a matter of social obligation.
How long has it been since we have visited with ourselves?"
-Morris Adler
"It is only when we silent
the blaring sounds of our daily existence
that we can finally hear
the whispers of truth
that life reveals to us,
as it stands knocking on
the doorsteps of our hearts."
-K.T. Jong
striking, no? i understand enjoying people and enjoying being social. but to a certain extent: there is peace in solitude and being removed from society and the world as a whole. being unable to ever be alone, is a sad commentary on the hearts of darkness that exist within every human, only visible when removed from the constraints of society.
15. the heart is doing well these days. as well as possible, at least. the eye, however, is another story.
16. the tests are getting old. SO old. good thing they're almost done. i have such massive amounts of reading to do. and umm how the heck do i prepare for a test from a teacher who thoroughly enjoys tangents. hmm. interesting, tangents though. fascinating, really.
17. in 25 days, i will have a sister of sorts. 25 days from now, and the days surrounding, will be hecka stressful. and yes, i am completely justified in using hecka as the adjective. deal with it.
18. i'm still irked about number one whenever i think about it. and of alllll days to ask me a certain question. a certain someone chose that night? please.
19. come back to me, soul sister. please? drifting not allowed. just because i said so.
19. come back to me, soul sister. please? drifting not allowed. just because i said so.
20. this line is an adequate description of the way my fairtyale will someday be: "today was a fairytale. i wore a dress, you wore a dark grey t-shirt." granted, that's a lot of days for me. it's the principle of the matter. i am snow white, and therefore, by default, someday my prince charming will come. i know, everyone's super jealous of me. cause i tell you what, he will be {slash already is} a stud. i just happen to have not met this fellow yet. i'm sure he's a stud, though. i'd accept nothing less. and he'd have to be to survive my brothers and family discussions and traits, etc. the end. stud he be.
Monday, July 19, 2010
sun park salt dance lake city
i drove the roads of my childhood today. almost all of them. i forgot how much of the first years of my life involved the hales sundance cabin. i loved that place. i wish i had more pictures of it to remember it by. the memories will have to suffice.
claira and i drove up and picnicked on the grass at aspen grove [another piece of childhood], and then drove back towards salt lake past deer creek reservoir, through heber [passing by the pizza hut we always stopped at on the way to the cabin], past jordanelle reservoir, past kimball junction and park city, and through parley's canyon towards downtown. then, we walked temple square visiting with darling sister missionaries {if i ever go on a mission, i hope i'm as cute and classy as all of them were.} and then watched the joseph smith movie. ahhh. it gets my tear ducts every time. and then drove past my territory as we drifted again towards provo. ohhhh memories and the things they do to your brain. i walked down a very long stretch of memory lane today. oh, and was reminded of how absolutely GORGEOUS my mountains are. i'm forever attached to them.
claira and i drove up and picnicked on the grass at aspen grove [another piece of childhood], and then drove back towards salt lake past deer creek reservoir, through heber [passing by the pizza hut we always stopped at on the way to the cabin], past jordanelle reservoir, past kimball junction and park city, and through parley's canyon towards downtown. then, we walked temple square visiting with darling sister missionaries {if i ever go on a mission, i hope i'm as cute and classy as all of them were.} and then watched the joseph smith movie. ahhh. it gets my tear ducts every time. and then drove past my territory as we drifted again towards provo. ohhhh memories and the things they do to your brain. i walked down a very long stretch of memory lane today. oh, and was reminded of how absolutely GORGEOUS my mountains are. i'm forever attached to them.
[these kids were hilarious. definitely cousins.]
[new display of the temple in the south visitor's center=incredible.]
greatest words of wisdom of the day:
shall we not go on in so great a cause?
Saturday, July 17, 2010
going to market
if you're looking for a nice definition of me and my character, here is an enormous clue. i stopped by fresh market today. what did i buy?
2 bags of some of the best chocolate chip cookies in the world.
3 avocados.
4 white roses.
a bundle of royal purple carnations.
a package of ciabatta bread.
if this doesn't scream emily janette nevers, i don't know what does. maybe if i had bought some sunflowers too along with the other fresh flowers? and based on my love of fresh flowers, sarah has helped me to discover my destiny. magic.
p.s. i'm totally making many of these someday when i have time.
p.p.s. i'm becoming way oversaturated with wedding websites in looking for centerpiece ideas for d&s's reception. hahaaaa.
p.p.p.s. my blog counter hit my favorite number times three today. yeyahh.
p.p.p.s. my blog counter hit my favorite number times three today. yeyahh.
Friday, July 16, 2010
currently
currently obsessed with...beethoven's fifth symphony. third movement is my favorite. and fourth. but mostly third. genius.
currently feeling...like a moron. did you know the testing center closes at five on fridays over the summer? cause it does.
currently wishing...school would be over sooner and the weather would take a chill pill. literally.
currently dreaming of...more free time.
currently loving...music and art. more now than ever before.
currently adoring...watching my younger boy cousins drool over steven's every word as he, as their elder, describes his major to them, etc. especially sean. he was completely enthralled, even more than the rest. it was darling.
currently hoping...everything i have studied and was so ready to spit onto paper will remain in my brain for at least one more day.
currently planning...to eat, study more, and go to sleep. exciting friday night, i know. don't be jealous.
currently...exhausted.
currently feeling...like a moron. did you know the testing center closes at five on fridays over the summer? cause it does.
currently wishing...school would be over sooner and the weather would take a chill pill. literally.
currently dreaming of...more free time.
currently loving...music and art. more now than ever before.
currently adoring...watching my younger boy cousins drool over steven's every word as he, as their elder, describes his major to them, etc. especially sean. he was completely enthralled, even more than the rest. it was darling.
currently hoping...everything i have studied and was so ready to spit onto paper will remain in my brain for at least one more day.
currently planning...to eat, study more, and go to sleep. exciting friday night, i know. don't be jealous.
currently...exhausted.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
herbie. the original, of course.
look what kaitlin and i found today:
this person is my hero. dead serious. i love provo.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
do you remembaaaaa
one time, i let my battery almost die. it was this day.
well, i did it again yesterday. except, according to my sweet little computer, it was a smaller percentage with more time. despite the fact that this time i had millions more things open. go figure?
i love my laptop. though sometimes i wish i had gotten the 13 incher instead. oh well. what are we to do, little sister sue? exactly. i do believe i've gotten more than my money's worth at this point. like, times a million. and it's only been a year. take that, apple.
well, i did it again yesterday. except, according to my sweet little computer, it was a smaller percentage with more time. despite the fact that this time i had millions more things open. go figure?
Monday, July 12, 2010
stataroodleistics
text message mailbox.
monday, july, 12, 2010.
monday, july, 12, 2010.
. . . . . . . . . .
10:42:19 pm.
emily: i'm going through a profile picture identity crisis.
10:43:00 pm.
lauren: ha having fun with your profile picture?
10:43:10 pm.
emily's message completes delivery to lauren.
. . . . . . . . . .
soul shrubs forevaaaaa.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
i heart youtube commenters
so i was just watching this video:
and then i decided to look at the comments. because honestly, there's always something hilarious to find in youtube comments. though my expectations weren't high considering the genre of video this is, mr. alexpxr8 went above and beyond expectations. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahaha.
p.s. read this. yeyahhhh.
ranunculus
usually i hate short dresses,
but she looks stunning and classy.
also, love her colors. duh.
dreams will be dreams
i feel like i've been replaced. in more ways than one. which makes me sad.
-------------------------------------
i had the best dream last night. blissfully and incandescently happy. it was like a voice softly whispering to my soul:
"not quite yet, but it's coming.
you know it is. don't doubt.
but you must do other things first.
and the time will come. i promise."
and that voice and promise means everything to me right now.
-------------------------------------
funk, please go away.
"i'll give you forever plus a hundred acre wood to explore, and an endless sky filled with clouds to stare at, followed by the stars and the moon."
"for my day couldn't be complete until i heard the sound of your laughter."
"for my day couldn't be complete until i heard the sound of your laughter."
Friday, July 9, 2010
a post script. a very long post script.
1. i have no friends. just the thing i realized when spending friday nights studying after every weekend before now has been spent necessarily aiding family. meanwhile, other normal college students tend to have fun and socialize. not me. i guess i'm not into that sort of thing.
2. i think i'm in a funk. a school crazed funk. filled with things to do and a desire to do absolutely nothing. as in, stare at the wall nothing. that's my kind of tired.
3. i really love byu. most of the time.
4. the efy kiddies aren't thatttttt bad. unless of course you want to be in the wlk or anywhere near brigham square around 12:30. if so? then yeah, it's pretty bad. but i must say, today the families with millions of little kiddies in the cougareat were invading much more than the efy kids. but the little kiddies are cuter to watch than the efy ones.
5. i'm fading away from my pop-tart love again.
6. calzones aren't as great anymore either.
7. for that matter? there are no foods i'm really digging at the moment. i'm often feeling hungry, but no food seems appetizing. to the contrary, today the choice my weakling stomach made was to just feel completely sick instead of the preferred indifference.
8. claira has left her shoes behind here 3 nights this week. dead serious. so maybe she leaves a little late some nights...especially after life story night. that night she left a knife in my bed too. and last night, it was a credit card.
9. claira now knows more about me than any human being on this earth. for awhile i thought maybe my brother(s) could possibly be the exception. but then i realized that no, she wins in knowing the closest to a full totality of a life story about me that includes my own feelings.
10. and surprisingly, maybe i'm ok with that.
11. kaitlin, claira, and i have bonded a lot this week. through better, and through worse.
12. i can't wait to find out why someday. i thought for sure things would turn out in the opposite direction.
14. they skip the number 13 on elevators, so i thought why not join the trend. speaking of elevators. that scene in serendipity kills me everytime. literally. it pains me! {see here} ohh that little child.
15. i see way too many couples, etc. around these parts. it's almost sickening. and yet sweet at the same time.
16. all this wedding talk makes me think. i honestly cannot for the life of me picture myself married. or in any relationship, for that matter. seriously. is that bad? slash sad?
17. claira and i talked about this in our life story sesh. we have high standards. actually, they're not that bad. but when compared to most the gentleman i meet so far in my life? it's gonna be awhile, people.
18. i can hear the bells. doug & sherry bells. sherry. sherry baby.
19. note to the world: avoid having only 6 weeks to plan a wedding. second note to the world: avoid having an engagement longer than 6 weeks. yeah, i know. good luck. long engagements are bad. just bad. when you know it's right with every fiber of your being-go for it. don't give the devil extra time to tempt you away from the divine.
20. maybe i'll watch serendipity tonight. with myself.
21. my music id exam is going to be hard. yes, it's open book, open note, etc. but that doesn't really help. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. my brain is going to explode soon.
22. dear jen, short for jennifer, from california in 2 of my 3 classes [fyi, that's a lot for summer. but then again everyone and their dog takes stats. but that's neither here nor there.] you'll probably never read this (just a guess), but i think you're really cute. like pretty gorgeous darling. that kind of cute. your hair, your face, your style. i'm jealous. maybe if i went to a fashion design school in la i could be that beautifully classy too? thanks for being so nice to me anyway during our small talk moments this week.
23. my hair is getting to be at that just right length. and i highly appreciate it. the bangs, however, are a very different story. they're in desperate need for a trim. and last time i tried that, it didn't go as well as i'd like. it's harder than it looks, people.
24. i feel so blahhhh-ish right now.
25. there is a little boy crying outside the window right now at the house next door. the kind of cry that you hear from a three year old when he doesn't have the toy he wants and he's awfully tired. the kind of cry that kind of goes away as soon as he has that toy. i think it's reallyyyy cute.
26. there's this movie that no one has heard of called hachi: a dog's tale. i watched it yesterday afternoon between my classes. no big deal, i bawled my little eyes right out. it was incredible. i loved it. though i see how it might not be as wonderful for non pet/dog lovers. but i, for one, found it heartwarming and sweet. and it ended right as i had to leave for my class. no big. i spent the entire walk to my class trying to compose myself. that wasn't a problem considering i got over it by the time i got to the bottom of death hill.
27. speaking of death hill. someday, i hope it will no longer kick my butt. literally. though it did used to be slightly worse, especially when i was sick, it ain't all that peachy right now. after a certain while going up that never-ending stairway to heaven by the duck pond makes my thighs want to scream bloody murder. the hill that suddenly goes straight up on 500 east? oh my screaming heavens. while i was sick and tried to go up it and then over to the left to land behind the jsb? my legs refused to move after a certain while. like, physically they roadblocked me. or if you go to the right from 5th east, it eases off, once you hit the top. i used to think that cutting the steepest part of the hill and walking through the garden south of campus made it easier because of the break and then stairs up. and then i started to realize how many stairs there are right there. and of course there are people coming down as you go up, so they're not gross, sweaty, and out of breath. and then you look like a moron. i love the cliff off of campus to the south. NOT. someday it will not make me want to chug a gallon of water. am i really that pathetic? don't answer that.
28. for the first time ever, i saw a guy bike alllll the way up that hill today. i wanted to cheer for him. nobody does that. everyone always has to stop and walk their bike up after a bit. i was stoked for him. embarrassed for me.
29. the reject pot and pan set that allie gave me from her wedding gifts makes my noodles taste funny. they have a faint hint of the pot in them that spreads through the boiling water and dirties my noodles. the oil or grease or something. it's gross. i'm starting to consider using my old pot from now on. not that i ever really cook.
30. park place is close. but the fridge? seriously? awful. it's completely jam-packed full, and the only things in it that are mine are my milk gallon, a few old yogurts that i need to throw away, some cream cheese, even though my bagels are gone, and a few leftover noodles from yesterday. freezer is even smaller and all that's mine is a few pieces of frozen chicken left over from a big bag. seriously? for SIX girls you think that's enough space? most of us have the equivalent amounts of things in the fridge, though everyone else, for the most part, has more than me. hmmmm. it's even smaller than my wyview fridge that was used for FOUR. come on now. think ahead, ghetto management.
31. speaking of other users of the fridge..a;lsdkjgnaw;oifjkna;oijaf;klamva;ilsjfdkmaori;svndlkmasd;flkjasdf;asjklnvao;eiglkmdvasfbljkasmdf;ilvaknebmro;aiefjklsdm. that's all.
32. facebook has been lacking in almost any appeal whatsoever lately. so has my phone. no one ever texts me. i never really text anyone and when i do they don't respond. and if they do, i don't take a looky right away. or i will, but won't respond till a little while later. what's wrong with me? probably a good thing.
33. even steven is doing something more fun than i tonight. i'm so itchy to do something today. and yet i don't want to do anything. go figure.
34. yes, my roommate wrote this on overheard@byu. and yes, it was me who said it..and yes, whenever my mom now calls me, usually after "hi, this is mom." the next phrase is: "do you have a second for some wedding things?" no i am not kidding you. i can't tell you how many phone calls this week have begun this way.
35. the fact that i'm still streaming live to you in this moment? oh my goodness sakes. i'm going to go lay in my bed, watch a chick flick, and go to sleep. sounds divine just thinking about it.
36. i'm sleeping in tomorrow. and there ain't nothin' you goillls can do about it. now i feel like watching mulan.
37. yes i am still really stoked on the idea of going to romania. speaking of, i need to start the application.
38. the paint on the walls of my living room will forever bother me to some extent. it looks ghetto and tacky.
39. one day i'll fly away. leave all this to yesterday. why live life from dream to dream. and dread the day when dreaming ends. the last time i listened to that song, that i recall, i was on a bus to orchestra festival at utah state in 8th or 9th grade. and i was a sad girl.
40. i'm still sad about the thing i was sad about then, because that situation never really got better. and now it's close to non-existent. which is bittersweet. it broke my heart, friend. so, sorry i'm not really willing to try very hard anymore.
41. my d&c class is so intriguing. i find history and the mysteries of god absolutely fascinating! i'm still serious about wanting an astronomy class from that great creator someday during my forever eternity. he has a lot of stories that could be told.
42. never before have i considered the conversation that must have taken place between lucy harris and martin harris when he had to tell her that his farm was being mortgaged to print the sacred record we now know as the book of mormon. and yes, in a weird way i think it would be hilarious to watch. in retrospect, of course. in her situation, i'd cry myself to sleep, i think.
43. i forgot how much i love to learn. history, especially. i miss ap euro. and american. and farr. and olsen. a lot.
44. this is WAY too long. à la prochaine fois.
45. one more, i promise: my french is rusty as can be. which makes me terrified for fall.
2. i think i'm in a funk. a school crazed funk. filled with things to do and a desire to do absolutely nothing. as in, stare at the wall nothing. that's my kind of tired.
3. i really love byu. most of the time.
4. the efy kiddies aren't thatttttt bad. unless of course you want to be in the wlk or anywhere near brigham square around 12:30. if so? then yeah, it's pretty bad. but i must say, today the families with millions of little kiddies in the cougareat were invading much more than the efy kids. but the little kiddies are cuter to watch than the efy ones.
5. i'm fading away from my pop-tart love again.
6. calzones aren't as great anymore either.
7. for that matter? there are no foods i'm really digging at the moment. i'm often feeling hungry, but no food seems appetizing. to the contrary, today the choice my weakling stomach made was to just feel completely sick instead of the preferred indifference.
8. claira has left her shoes behind here 3 nights this week. dead serious. so maybe she leaves a little late some nights...especially after life story night. that night she left a knife in my bed too. and last night, it was a credit card.
9. claira now knows more about me than any human being on this earth. for awhile i thought maybe my brother(s) could possibly be the exception. but then i realized that no, she wins in knowing the closest to a full totality of a life story about me that includes my own feelings.
10. and surprisingly, maybe i'm ok with that.
11. kaitlin, claira, and i have bonded a lot this week. through better, and through worse.
12. i can't wait to find out why someday. i thought for sure things would turn out in the opposite direction.
14. they skip the number 13 on elevators, so i thought why not join the trend. speaking of elevators. that scene in serendipity kills me everytime. literally. it pains me! {see here} ohh that little child.
15. i see way too many couples, etc. around these parts. it's almost sickening. and yet sweet at the same time.
16. all this wedding talk makes me think. i honestly cannot for the life of me picture myself married. or in any relationship, for that matter. seriously. is that bad? slash sad?
17. claira and i talked about this in our life story sesh. we have high standards. actually, they're not that bad. but when compared to most the gentleman i meet so far in my life? it's gonna be awhile, people.
18. i can hear the bells. doug & sherry bells. sherry. sherry baby.
19. note to the world: avoid having only 6 weeks to plan a wedding. second note to the world: avoid having an engagement longer than 6 weeks. yeah, i know. good luck. long engagements are bad. just bad. when you know it's right with every fiber of your being-go for it. don't give the devil extra time to tempt you away from the divine.
20. maybe i'll watch serendipity tonight. with myself.
21. my music id exam is going to be hard. yes, it's open book, open note, etc. but that doesn't really help. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. my brain is going to explode soon.
22. dear jen, short for jennifer, from california in 2 of my 3 classes [fyi, that's a lot for summer. but then again everyone and their dog takes stats. but that's neither here nor there.] you'll probably never read this (just a guess), but i think you're really cute. like pretty gorgeous darling. that kind of cute. your hair, your face, your style. i'm jealous. maybe if i went to a fashion design school in la i could be that beautifully classy too? thanks for being so nice to me anyway during our small talk moments this week.
23. my hair is getting to be at that just right length. and i highly appreciate it. the bangs, however, are a very different story. they're in desperate need for a trim. and last time i tried that, it didn't go as well as i'd like. it's harder than it looks, people.
24. i feel so blahhhh-ish right now.
25. there is a little boy crying outside the window right now at the house next door. the kind of cry that you hear from a three year old when he doesn't have the toy he wants and he's awfully tired. the kind of cry that kind of goes away as soon as he has that toy. i think it's reallyyyy cute.
26. there's this movie that no one has heard of called hachi: a dog's tale. i watched it yesterday afternoon between my classes. no big deal, i bawled my little eyes right out. it was incredible. i loved it. though i see how it might not be as wonderful for non pet/dog lovers. but i, for one, found it heartwarming and sweet. and it ended right as i had to leave for my class. no big. i spent the entire walk to my class trying to compose myself. that wasn't a problem considering i got over it by the time i got to the bottom of death hill.
27. speaking of death hill. someday, i hope it will no longer kick my butt. literally. though it did used to be slightly worse, especially when i was sick, it ain't all that peachy right now. after a certain while going up that never-ending stairway to heaven by the duck pond makes my thighs want to scream bloody murder. the hill that suddenly goes straight up on 500 east? oh my screaming heavens. while i was sick and tried to go up it and then over to the left to land behind the jsb? my legs refused to move after a certain while. like, physically they roadblocked me. or if you go to the right from 5th east, it eases off, once you hit the top. i used to think that cutting the steepest part of the hill and walking through the garden south of campus made it easier because of the break and then stairs up. and then i started to realize how many stairs there are right there. and of course there are people coming down as you go up, so they're not gross, sweaty, and out of breath. and then you look like a moron. i love the cliff off of campus to the south. NOT. someday it will not make me want to chug a gallon of water. am i really that pathetic? don't answer that.
28. for the first time ever, i saw a guy bike alllll the way up that hill today. i wanted to cheer for him. nobody does that. everyone always has to stop and walk their bike up after a bit. i was stoked for him. embarrassed for me.
29. the reject pot and pan set that allie gave me from her wedding gifts makes my noodles taste funny. they have a faint hint of the pot in them that spreads through the boiling water and dirties my noodles. the oil or grease or something. it's gross. i'm starting to consider using my old pot from now on. not that i ever really cook.
30. park place is close. but the fridge? seriously? awful. it's completely jam-packed full, and the only things in it that are mine are my milk gallon, a few old yogurts that i need to throw away, some cream cheese, even though my bagels are gone, and a few leftover noodles from yesterday. freezer is even smaller and all that's mine is a few pieces of frozen chicken left over from a big bag. seriously? for SIX girls you think that's enough space? most of us have the equivalent amounts of things in the fridge, though everyone else, for the most part, has more than me. hmmmm. it's even smaller than my wyview fridge that was used for FOUR. come on now. think ahead, ghetto management.
31. speaking of other users of the fridge..a;lsdkjgnaw;oifjkna;oijaf;klamva;ilsjfdkmaori;svndlkmasd;flkjasdf;asjklnvao;eiglkmdvasfbljkasmdf;ilvaknebmro;aiefjklsdm. that's all.
32. facebook has been lacking in almost any appeal whatsoever lately. so has my phone. no one ever texts me. i never really text anyone and when i do they don't respond. and if they do, i don't take a looky right away. or i will, but won't respond till a little while later. what's wrong with me? probably a good thing.
33. even steven is doing something more fun than i tonight. i'm so itchy to do something today. and yet i don't want to do anything. go figure.
34. yes, my roommate wrote this on overheard@byu. and yes, it was me who said it..and yes, whenever my mom now calls me, usually after "hi, this is mom." the next phrase is: "do you have a second for some wedding things?" no i am not kidding you. i can't tell you how many phone calls this week have begun this way.
36. i'm sleeping in tomorrow. and there ain't nothin' you goillls can do about it. now i feel like watching mulan.
37. yes i am still really stoked on the idea of going to romania. speaking of, i need to start the application.
38. the paint on the walls of my living room will forever bother me to some extent. it looks ghetto and tacky.
39. one day i'll fly away. leave all this to yesterday. why live life from dream to dream. and dread the day when dreaming ends. the last time i listened to that song, that i recall, i was on a bus to orchestra festival at utah state in 8th or 9th grade. and i was a sad girl.
40. i'm still sad about the thing i was sad about then, because that situation never really got better. and now it's close to non-existent. which is bittersweet. it broke my heart, friend. so, sorry i'm not really willing to try very hard anymore.
41. my d&c class is so intriguing. i find history and the mysteries of god absolutely fascinating! i'm still serious about wanting an astronomy class from that great creator someday during my forever eternity. he has a lot of stories that could be told.
42. never before have i considered the conversation that must have taken place between lucy harris and martin harris when he had to tell her that his farm was being mortgaged to print the sacred record we now know as the book of mormon. and yes, in a weird way i think it would be hilarious to watch. in retrospect, of course. in her situation, i'd cry myself to sleep, i think.
43. i forgot how much i love to learn. history, especially. i miss ap euro. and american. and farr. and olsen. a lot.
44. this is WAY too long. à la prochaine fois.
45. one more, i promise: my french is rusty as can be. which makes me terrified for fall.
rainy sleepy afternoons
there is something
insanely relaxing and wonderful
about a cloudy, sleepy summer afternoon.
it makes me want to watch pride and prejudice,
the young victoria, or work on reading
some more of jane eyre, and
drift to sleep in the process.
perhaps i will.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
love and laughter
"we cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh."
--agnes repplierso maybe wedding planning is a pain when it's complicated. and maybe it is when it's short term. and maybe there were multiple people ready to bag the festivities yesterday. and maybe it's stressful as heck, especially when duties are spread among people who are already busy. never fear, we're all on the bandwagon again. and yes, i am really excited and happy for them. and in the end, it's about growing old along with someone. the silly moments of pure joy. enjoying things together. no couple on earth knows pure happiness and enjoyment in each other's presence like doug and sherry. and you know what? that's what matters. and that's why i love these two photos from their engagements more than most of the rest. these pictures, more than any words can say, completely define them.
define them as individuals, and as a couple.
and that's what it's all about.
the ever-present joy.
define them as individuals, and as a couple.
and that's what it's all about.
the ever-present joy.
a man named leroy
this is beautiful.
sorry. it is a bit seemingly slow in the beginning. but it is beautiful. please watch. it's the way he talks. it's captivating.
"i like living. but i'm not afraid to die."
"the lord says there's no happiness in sin. and i agree with him."
"i'll never live to get any shade out of it, but i'll go home and plant it."
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
there's pride in every american heart
did you know that i love the fourth of july? because i love it a lot. with every fiber of my being. at stadium of fire this year, i may or may not have gotten a little teary eyed during the national anthem. and many other moments throughout. i love this country, this miracle country of mine. my heart swells with pride for old glory. i'm proud to be an american, where at least i know i'm free. all my fourth's of july are filled with incredible memories of provo's freedom festival. hot air balloons. parades. stadium of fire. swelling pride in every american heart. those glory days.
{beware. millions of photos of my favorite day.}
i love me some fireworks. stadium of fire knows their stuff.
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