ummmmmmmm.

how much of a nerd am i

to admit that i think the lineup

for this semester of

international cinema

looks amazing?

as in better than usual.

as in there is one almost

every week i want to see.

nerrrddddd.

la mort francais

tuesdays and thursdays are not nearly as merciful as one class mondays and free fridays.
[note that my schedule is not the same as it was in that friday free link. commd was swapped with a french class.]

so i came home at long last and ate sherry's brownies with a glass of milk.
and a slice of bread homemade with love.

all will be well?

all is well.

scared? indeed.

why am i taking french x 2?

a mystery the universe has still yet to solve with logical reason.

charming? yes. ridiculous? also yes.

oyyyyyyyy.

p.s. on a happier note, thanks to my stellar schedule, i get a basically fall break for thanksgiving from november 19th-28th. yeyahhhhhhhh.

reasons why i love the first day of school (and byu)

kaitlin is wearing tie dye pants.
dead serious.

living close enough that leaving at 9:43--ish means

you go up the stairway to heaven and are in the jsb by 9:47--ish.

harry from french+slow internet and finding classrooms.

amongst people pooling outside the doors of the jsb auditorium.

william from french after finally finding the tucked away classroom.

but getting a scenic view of the jsb first floor. after walking around the whole thing.

i've always wondered what the rest of it looked like. hahahaaa.

flamin' liberal new testament prof. and yet seemingly oddly soft-spoken at first.

getting out of a 50 minute class 20 minutes early

after being told about how nice and simple of a religion class it will be.

as opposed to most religion classes at byu--gaaahh.

this semester=sweet deal.

one class mondays.

freshman pinpoint is still #1 favorite game.

#2? fresh r.m. pinpoint.

you know..the ones who JUST got back

and are starting their first semester after being back?

yeyahhhhhhhh. hahahahahahahahaha.

texting soul sista while walking through campus.

this means smiling while walking across campus+full on giggling out loud at times.

stellar? you better believe it.

i love walking through campus with a smile on my face and a giggle.

cassarooo. more on her later.

67th ward pow wow.

kristine+tayler.

choir--oddly relieved more than disappointed.

la says it must be a blessing in disguise, and i agree with her.

having such a beautiful day before that and after definitely helped my heart.
tender mercy.

izzy! who i've seen many a time on campus. love her.

carly bo barly stephenson.

"i just feel like everyone is in love!"

blogstalker. i like it.

i love car.

melinda walk past.

lovin'.

and we can fly, fly, fly away.

playlist lovin' on the walk home.

seeing doug+sherry's still-decorated-just-married car parked by the duckpond.

unmistakably theirs, of course. and dougy confirmed it. haaa.

cassi not being able to find her poly sci classroom.
and then realizing she was in the wrong building.
baaaaaaaaaahahaha.
i love her lots.

fresh bread to come home to.

honey whole wheat homemade bread+turkey+avocado+muenster cheese+mustard+pinch of mayo=yum.

and it's only 12:18 p.m.

i love byu. more than evaaaaaa.

i love college in general.

i love choosing my own classes that will be enjoyable to me.

this is what college is all about.

love, love, love.
the sun is shining it's a beautiful day.
life gave me lemonade.

la vie est belle.

first day of schooool!

august 30, 2010

first days of school always have the same feeling looming around them.

i love that feeling.

i watched you've got mail last night.

best $7.99 i ever spent.

"don't you love [utah] in the fall? it makes me want to buy school supplies.

i would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if i knew your name and address."

i'm really excited for this semester. fall 2010.

seriously.

i have good feelings about this one.

happy first day!

this is the summer of twenty and ten

i love long drives. night drives back home to provo are so serene. so peaceful.

thinking time.

tonight marks the ending of a summer.

a summer that in some ways was the worst of my life.

but in many more ways was the absolute best of my life.

one that will undoubtedly be remembered for years and years to come.

i needed to be in provo this summer. even though at times i questioned it.

the bond claira and i now share is indescribable. i needed her here for me. all the same, i think she needed me here for her too, even though she'd never admit it. we share a strong bond. have seen each other at our absolute worst-literally. but also at our best. sharing in the joys and tragedies that come in life. something both of us experienced in our summer together. for these four months, it has been just us. with a few additions at times, but never constantly. we share facial expressions. phrases. random habits. music tastes. we both know things about the other that i'm sure we'd never want another to know. we both have felt our own heartaches. we both have felt our own immense joys. we both have shared what it is that makes us, us. and this is who we are and have become. and yet, now it is all about to change.

the greatest and worst summer of my life is coming to a close. filled with tragedies that could rip your heart out, as well as those events filled with so much love and joy, that you could never forget--even when you've turned old and grey and coming close to a return to a heavenly home.

i've learned more about life and what it is and who i am in this summer, than in any other part of my life. more about heaven, more about earth, more about me, more about us all. more and more that makes me want even more insights.

the true tragedy is this. one simple sad fact.

things will never be the same again.

no matter how much i may yearn for them to be.

all i can do is revel in the memories. and be grateful for their creation.

and memories like this?

shall never be forgotten.

and this, this is the essence of my summer.

for this is was the summer of 20 and 10.

you've got that sunshine, you've got that golden heart

come monday (well, tuesday, more precisely) i am going to die. DIE quite literally when my life of TWO french classes begins. am i crazy? obviously. am i terrified? indeed. some of even the simplest things have been forgotten by now. ooooopss. problematic, i know. once upon a time i knew something about french.

i need to review basically all of french 321 between now and then. doable? perhaps. bahhhhh. because i did SO great with grammar and in that class last semester. cause it was definitely one of my best french grades ever. scratch that. one of my best anything grades ever. NOT. that's a big huge enormous fat NOT. because grammar is my favorite thing about french. psycheeeeeeeee. oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. on top of a million other things to do before the semester digs deep into my soul and eats my time. excellent.

who could ask for anything more?

no one.

my time of life=best.
i sure like college. who doesn't?

not being a freshman=BEST BEST BEST.
i hate freshmen. i even hated freshmen when i was one.
yeah, i know, right? exactly. i'm one of those weirdos.

"i think your mom was born grown up." --auntie jane.

sometimes, in some ways, i think i was too.

freshmen are ridiculous.

annnnddddddddd on top of it i'm a snobby music snob.
i try to control it.
but sometimes it doesn't happen. like this week. oopssss.

but this doesn't change the fact that i'm terrified for frencharoo.
on the bright side, i set my facebook to french again.
yeyahhhh.

3's

..it's been 3 days since i last blogged, and looking at it gives me a guilt trip that feels like it's been much longer. ha haaa..
..school starts in 3 days. say whaaa?
..3 of us went to the airport last night, but we returned with four. ccc&e are reunited once more.

yeah, so that's all the three's i have. two of them. go me. i added the third for the three effect. yeyahh. that is all.

p.s. i've realized i say that is all at the end of things a lot. oopsay.
p.p.s. i have an oddly strong desire to watch the hannah montana movie right now. ridiculous? i know. don't judge me. though i already feel judged.

sherry baby

this morning i woke up to thinking brother #1 was calling me,

and then sherry sunshine's voice.

and then her feeling bad for waking me up

after trying so hard to not call too early.

ha. love her. lots.

good choice, brother #1. top notch.

cherish

"Cherish your visions, cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs your heart, the beauty that forms your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all the delightful conditions, all of heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built."
--james allen

i believe in memories

once upon a time, my brother dougy met a girl named sherry.

ms. sherry ann hoffman and he started dating officially last september.

and as of august the fourteenth, two-thousand and ten, they are now

mr. and mrs. doug and sherry nevers.

weird sounding? yes.

incredible? yes.
perfect match? yes.

do we love her? like crazy.

sherryyyy, sherry baby. we're sure glad you joined us forever and for always. :)

i have a million and one pictures i could post. buttttt that wouldn't even be worth it. so instead, just a few of my favorite captured memories. simple as can be. though there are a lot of those too. oopsayy. and i figure no one really cares about pictures of anyone besides the bride and groom. so i therefore tried to control myself and mostly just post them. because they are purrrtyyyy. and the happiest of clams. never have i known a couple so happy.

"we make a watermelon!"

ha ha. i heart sherry when she's exhausted.

i love love.

here's to happily ever after!

<3 

sun

you know how i love me some sunshine.
but i would rather not see it again for awhile.

i am a lobster.

i almost burst into tears when i woke up this morning
because it still hurt so bad.

OUCHHHHHHH.

that isn't even an adequate expression to convey my pain.

my burns are DEEP.

owwwieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

i'm going to cry.

ohh st.george sunshine how i love slash hate you.

heard it before

"someday you'll like a boy and you will shower six times in one week for him"  

-claira lynn gale, about me.

this quite possibly made my whole day.

whatevs. i don't think i could ever like anyone that much.

hahahahahahahaahahahaha.

an entrance to happiness

"...you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too impulsive, too vehement: the sovereign hand that created your frame, and put life into it, has provided you with other resources than your feeble self, or than creatures feeble as you. besides this earth, and besides the race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits: that world is round us, for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us, for they are commissioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and shame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see our tortures, recognise our innocence ... and God waits only the separation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward. why, then, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon over, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness--to glory?"
--charlotte brontë, jane eyre

words, words, words

"children can feel, but they cannot analyse their feelings;

and if the analysis is partially effected in thought,

they know not how to express the result of the process in words."

--charlotte brontë, jane eyre

"heaven on earth..

...in the house of God, so much fills [my] heart and mind."

that was just what i needed.

even though i didn't realize how much i did.

d&c 136:28-29

"Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live! 

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!"

d&c 76: 22-24

"He lives to bless me with his love.

He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed.

He lives to bless in time of need.

...

He lives to comfort me when faint.

He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.

He lives to wipe away my tears.

He lives to calm my troubled heart.

He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives, my kind, wise heav’nly Friend.
He lives and loves me to the end.

He lives, and while he lives, I’ll sing.

...

He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
'I know that my Redeemer lives!'"

none can utter anything more profound than these aforementioned words.

a picture pook

that was supposed to say picture book. oops. pook is more exciting.

once upon a time, emily went to salt laker for a bit to play with lauren. and so they did.
[nevermind you that this was the weekend before emily's finals. ooopsay.]

this is their story.

1. la, and i quote: "should've gotten a large.." apparently. she's addicted major to diet coke. oooopsay.

2. we're so good at this game. cute.

3. on the rare occasion that rain arrives in these parts, it's awfully pretty.

4. and creates some stunner clouds that the photo doesn't do justice.

5. sometimes you go see charlie st.cloud. and forget to get a picture with all three of you--jessi too. oopsay again. for the record, it was stellar. and zac efron is a stud. those blue eyes and forever long eyelashes are stunning.

6. century has issues and needs to fix their lights.

7. the next day, we went to bob's. ohh how the world loves bob's. it's a household name.

8. even though it's cloudy,  it was a weeeee bit bright. that's why we look cuter than usual, duh. and yes i do realize i'm always on the same side of the picture. it's the way my camera is..oopsay the third.

9. then i left. sad, i know. but on the way back to provo there were millions of sunflowers guiding my way. which is ok by me. unfortunately, most are along the freeway, which makes them un-photographable unless you stop or something by the freeway--unlikely.

10. then your brother buys you a shake from the malt shoppe. rad.

11. steven loves happy valley. he wants to come back as soon as possible. especially because he likes starting the gossip ring in emily's ward. whaaaa? hahahahahahahahaha.

12. i was born with crazy brothers. ridiculous, really. oh well. i got a free shake out of it and lots of laughs. so i'll live. maybe. this is how i feel about it:

13. and then steven had a birthday. shout hooray! he is 22. old, right? that's what i said. chocolate induced coma for steve's birthday ANDDDD deb's? check.

p.s. deb LOVED the skirt i made her. thank heavens!

and they lived happily ever after.

the end.

p.s. please don't be jealous of how pretty i've been all weekend. it would be too much to handle.

"cause that's what i'd tell my groupies if i had them..you know. just feel free to sit here and watch me while i watch youtube videos.." --e.g.

mischief managed.

kites

"a smile.
lopsided.
hardly there.
but there.

...it was only a smile, nothing more. it didn't make everything all right. it didn't make anything all right. only a smile. a tiny thing. a leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird's flight.

but i'll take it. with open arms. because when spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe i just witnessed the first flake melting."

--khaled hosseini, the kite runner






  

songs of love

this is a story about boy meets girl. but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.

sometimes in life you realize the often unnoticed possibility of a story behind the words of the favorite lemonade song. it's almost like the story of a proposal. a love story of sorts, if you'd like to take it that way. the cutest most darling love story ever told. and believe you me, you've heard those words a lot. a number of times that you don't quite want to admit. charming.

sometimes in life you listen to one song over and over again. and sometimes, that's ok. especially when it's all about your heart by mindy gledhill. yes, it is that good. yes, sometimes you do become slightly incredibly obsessed with lots of songs. and of course you don't mind a bit. "if you were an ice cream flavor you would be my favorite one. my imagination sees you like a painting by van gogh. starry nights and bright sunflowers follow you where you may go."

just try and watch the video linked on the title and think you don't like it. just try. exactly, it won't happen. and if you think so, i'll make you listen again. and again. until you are just as in love.

sometimes in life you walk into stats and say "hello!" and then you're greeted with "hi facebook friend!" as you sit down, because that morning you became official friends. because you decide that you really like jen. the end.

sometimes in life you go see movies like letters to juliet. movies that are complete and total fluff, and yet still ohhhhh, so darling. and may or may not induce ridiculous giggles and squeals at the hilarity and cuteness that is completely and totally unrealistic and yet, it's the fairytale for which every girl dreams. and sometimes, as the credits keep rolling on and you're still in the theater, the lights up and the people remaining are the old couples. just like the one in the movie. loves that know the beauty in sitting and reveling in the moment, rather than rushing out as soon as the movie ends. beautiful concept. and it may or may not make you wish for your own love story, in which he kneels to the ground and pulls out a ring and says, 'marry me, emily [yes they do have the same number of syllables. emily. juliet. all the same.] you'll never have to be alone. i love you and that's all i really know. i talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress. it's a love story, baby just say yes.' mmmmmm.

sometimes in life you walk home in the pouring rain barefoot and reveling in the beauty of such a moment, that most people would look upon as strange in their lack of understanding.

sometimes in life you invite yourself over to your soul sister's for a sleepover. before realizing that in most situations that would be considered slightly, if not incredibly rude. oops.

sometimes in life your grandma texts you right as you get out of class and invites you to lunch, just if you're not too busy. please. who would NOT squeeze that in regardless of how busy they were. and you realize how much you've missed grandma lunches. and you have a delightful time chatting at gloria's little italy, which is a delightful little place. and you talk about the beautiful seamstress she is. and how you reeeallllyyyy wish you had one dress that you saw a photo of her wearing.

sometimes in life your brother is eight days away from being married. and eight is your favorite number. and you're pretty happy about it all. and he finally has housing and will not be homeless in his newlywed state.

sometimes in life your old roommate courtney says that you will draw a guy in with the sound of your cute giggles. and then he will look at you and see your adorable face and then be in love. and this right guy will come and will love your giggles. and then you burst out laughing when you read her text about it in stats class. and then the ridiculous giggles are present as usual.

sometimes in life you are just plain, old fashioned, blissfully happy. and then you see that your cousin's facebook status is all about happy. and it makes you even happier. and sometimes in life, on a day so happy? you're glad you're wearing a dress, to fit the generally happy day.

happy. what a word. what a world. what a life.

letter from a friend

tianne got this in young womens way back when or something like that, and found it tonight. and i love it and wanted to record it. yes, it is verrrryyy young women-ey. but that's ok. so if you so desire, don't read it. though, you should. because it's good. and full of love. :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I just had to write to tell you how much I love you and care for you.  Yesterday I saw you walking and laughing with your friends; I hoped that soon you'd want Me to walk along with you, too.  So, I painted you a sunset to close your day and whispered a cool breeze to refresh you.  I waited -- you never called -- I just kept on loving you.

As I watched you fall asleep last night, I wanted so much to touch you.  I spilled moonlight onto your face -- trickling down your cheeks as so many tears have.  You didn't even think of Me; I wanted so much to comfort you.

The next day I exploded a brilliant sunrise into glorious morning for you.  But you woke up late and rushed off to school -- you didn't even notice.  My sky became cloudy and My tears were the rain.

I love you.  Oh, if you'd only listen.  I really love you.  I try to say it in the quiet of the green meadow and in the blue sky.  The wind whispers My love throughout the treetops and spills it into the vibrant colors of all the flowers.  I shout it to you in the thunder of the great waterfalls and compose love songs for birds to sing for you.  I warm you with the clothing of My sunshine and perfume the air with nature's sweet scent.  My love for you is deeper than any ocean and greater than any need in your heart.  If you'd only realize how I care.

My Dad sends His love.  I want you to meet Him -- He cares, Fathers are just that way.  So please call on Me soon.  No matter how long it takes, I'll wait because I love you.

Your Friend,
Jesus."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? ... Nay, in all things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.  For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." --romans 8:35, 37-39

"We love him, because he first loved us." --1 john 4:19

"...see that ye look to God and live." --alma 37:47

"...remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions..." --alma 38:5

"...Jesus Christ, your advocate, who knoweth the weakness of man and how to succor them who are tempted." --d&c 62:1

need i say more? shall we not go on in so great a cause?

true art

"the true artist can articulate a vision of what humanity can trust.
in the midst of alienation, the artist can bring community,
and in the midst of ugliness, beauty."

--lawrence s. cunningham, john j. reich

f to the y to the i

1. i am so tired. i would have easily agreed to anything in the universe if steven had agreed to let me go back to sleep for even 10 more minutes when he called to help me wake up this morning. seriously. i was considering what i could say to make him go away and let me sleep. all while hardly coherent.
2. i took a stats test today in which i am assuming there was a fluke in the scoring key...i'm so flabbergasted and confused. i figure i'm better off keeping my expectations low. but still.
3. i'm a little sad that i only have one music class left and one d&c class left. i love my d&c professor. he has definitely earned my respect, despite being younger than most professors. he has incredibly vast amounts of historical knowledge.
4. i'm not in the slightest bit sad that i only have one stats lab left. ecstatic, would be a more accurate term. though it is unfortunate that there are still 3 more lectures. too bad.
5. claira practically completely lives in my apartment. my roommates are all used to it. but then again she's finally moving this week, so maybe she won't be around as much anymore? hmm. we shall see. i'm sad there's not an open space in my apartment right now for her. also, i keep finding her hairs all over my bed.
6. every other night the past few days we've swap beds while kaitlin is out of town. mostly because she's still awake and sitting on my bed when i'm going to sleep, and therefore i just lay down and sleep on kaitlin's bed instead.
7. i'm really glad the awkward stage of new roommates is passed. sufficient bonding has mostly occurred, all things considered. and it's nice and livable.
8. i don't know how to feel about people coming back still. but i'm getting increasingly excited. give me a break before fall starts, and i'll be good to go. too bad my break has been filled for me. thank you very much brother #1.
9. the week after finals keeps getting filled with things. holy hannah.
10. when la and i are in st.george, my plan is to sleep for three days straight, some of which will occur poolside. mostly, my plan is to do absolutely nothing. funny how that's a part of a plan, huh?
11. i'm quite literally considering going to bed before 10:30 tonight.
12. i love the new tradition becca and i have of getting ice cream on mondays and wednesdays before our class. i hope we find a way to continue it in the fall. it's only $1.28 for a child scoop in a cake cone. the sweet life. :)
13. 8 days from right now i will ideally be completely done with finals. 9 days until courtney's birthday [yes indeed, you did just get a shout out, courtface]. 11 days until the crazy wedding day is complete. 12 days to st.geezy. 16 days to california [member jen from this post? yeah. where she is from is only like 30 minutes from where sherry is from. bahahaha. of course. welcome to byu.] 20 days until i have a whole week before class starts in which i can do whatever i want! though there are decisions to be made in regards to that week and generally...hmm.
14. i'm excited for the pact my we made as stairwell buddies to party and movie night when everyone returns.
15. i can almost taste the beerocks again...mmmmmmmm! heaven in my mouth. ohh mamma cass. come back to me.
16. i need to start working on my romania application. am i still determined? yes.
17. i need some sleep, i can't go on like this. good song. though steve found an article claiming that lost sleep can be recovered later [see here]. i don't know how much of a consolation that is, though.
18. i am not a good decision maker. more precisely: i am indecisive. and i have decisions to make. oh dear. run for the hills.
19. le français me manque! je suis nerveux pour le semestre prochaine...j'ai oublié trop..
20. believe it or not, not everyone who went to skyline is rich and snotty as the stereotype would suggest. just sayin.
21. i've worn a dress every single day since last thursday. literally. i need clothes that aren't so old. but then again dresses are cooler anyway. and more comfortable.

brightening

i love that this article and these websites exist.

that is all.

i will never judge you, i can only love you

it's amazing how much your eyes can be opened to the world when you learn more about people. the kind of learning of life stories. the truth. the thing that's in someone's head, that they're usually not saying as the conversation flows on around them. or the thing that's always on their mind, as a slight distraction, though usually pushed back. but every once in awhile, when alone, it comes out.
sometimes, the world is not a good place. sometimes, you learn more about someone else's life, and feel grateful for your own trials. sometimes, you just want to cry, and do, when someone else opens themselves up to you and tells you that thing that is ripping their heart up, but no one can know. sometimes, you just cry for it all.
i don't know why there are bad things in this world. i don't know how some people can be so utterly awful to their very core. i don't know how everything will be sorted out in the end. i just know it will. i just know, even when the world does seem dark, there is SO much light to offset it. i just know, that all i can do sometimes is listen and cry too.
and sometimes? that's the best you can do.

long ago i learned the lesson to never judge someone before you know them. and i spend my life learning that over and over again. i wish i could know everyone's life story and see a window into their soul and help them bear it.

the gospel is perfect. the people are not. god is good, and full of love. perfect love. and that's all that matters.

“'greater love hath no man than this that he lay down his life for his friends.'

the way that he holds my broken heart together with His hands...when i think no one could know,

i know there is one who understands." -mindy gledhill

august the first, year unknown.

"i'm princess of this day. you have to be nice to me and you know it." -claira lynn gale

happy birthday clairaaaa!!!!

you rock my socks.

and quite frankly, you're stellar.

and rad.

and veering.

and you know the deal.

you love my adjectives.

i heart you.

heart.

<3

happy birthday!!