traits i can't stand:

people who are:

arrogant

selfish

ungrateful

ignorant

judgmental

obnoxious

rude

and/or

shallow.

that is all.

to be understood.

read this.
i think everyone feels like this sometimes.
no? me and deb are the only ones?
well, ok then. completely disregard anything i've ever said.
i think it's sad. but inspiring when you learn to move past it and have hope instead.
hopes of sunflower fields forever.
yes.
future hubby, take notes on the above.
deb and me are the same in that regard.

now listen to these.

cheesy? of course.

but sometimes cheesy is not so cheesy when it means something.

and you could add this one too. clean, of course.

you are perfect.

you should just know that.

and that's a whole lot of feel-good crammed into one.

high school's rough, debbie. surprise: high school isn't reality.

except every so often it doesn't go away.

just avoid those places/people.

that's just my two cents.

oh, and i love deborah ann.

le coup d'état.

sarah: i think there are more couples this fall than last.

emily: OH MY GOSH! i'm so glad you agree.

(the exclamation because there really are.)

sarah: yeah, usually it takes some time for people to pair up.

emily: nope. this time they came paired up.

sarah: well good for them and less grade competition for us.

emily: haaahaha. so eloquently said. :)

less grade competition. i suppose i could go for that.

welcome back to the (couple) bubble.

bulletins - 4

the real voyage of discovery

consists not in seeking new landscapes,

but in having new eyes.

marcel proust

je suis trop fatigué. je suis né fatigué.

i've never realized how much of a difference there is between mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion.

romania = physical and emotional exhaustion.
school = mental exhaustion. and sometimes the other two as well, though not quite the same.

brain overload. second day of class. shooot.

i should have finished every last bit of my romania portfolio before school started. aislynn, take note. ha. everyone says it, but i should have more fully listened. but seriously. i've done way too much writing in the past week. it's eating my soul. bright side: almost, almost, almost done! i think that's contributing to my mental exhaustion. you can only write for so long, you know. and there are only so many things to be said about romanian culture seeing as somehow, all these proofs end up quite similar, regardless of the activity. in my opinion, there are too many culture proofs. just sayin. buut that's not for me to say, i suppose. either way. ALMOST DONE!

the point of this post is that i am mentally exhausted. that's all.

bulletins - 3

when the path is blocked, back up and see more of the way.

nepo

firsts.

--my first class today wasn't until 10am, so i watched the 8am classes and the 9am classes crowds walk up 5th east from my bedroom window. it's almost sad how enjoyable it is to watch people on the first day of school.

--i wore a dress. (duh.) the chosen winner was one of my romania dresses with day-old getting greasy hair, and therefore half up. i've never been more me.

--i learned something today. hello. duh. it was school. but not quite what you may be thinking. the entire college experience/classes in general are so much more enjoyable when you branch out even a little bit and talk to the people next to you, if only for a bit. in my first class, before even thinking about it, i looked over and inquired the name and general information of the girl next to me, and then as another girl sat down on my other side, i did the same thing. i think romania changed this about me. i used to never be the one to necessarily initiate that conversation. too shy. too scared. afraid of being judged, or something. i don't know what. but i don't really care anymore. i didn't even give it a second thought until later once class had started, and i realized that was so unlike me. unlike the old me, i should say. part of it, i think, is being more comfortable with the campus/college experience in general. but still. just an interesting fact about me. this summer has taught me how much i really love people and getting to know people. even small interactions at check stands at the store or at the bank. they thrill me.

--i also learned how exhausting this much social interaction is. i've had more new social interaction in the past 36 hours than in the past month or more. i think i've hit social overload and need my processing/alone/chill time.

--we watched the following video in my religion class today. i might have teared up a bit. i forgot how perfect it is.

--sometimes my name feels unnatural to me. like it doesn't really fit. is that weird? people ask me my name and i say emily out of habit. but occasionally it just feels slightly foreign. yes, that probably is weird. opa.

--my french professor is hilariously adorable. he's so french/european. i adore it. and one of the guys that i actually got to know in my 321 class freshmen year is in it with me! so exciting. don't worry, he's been married almost 2 months now. another guy in the class got back from his mission 2 years ago and has been married for 2 years. my professor applauded him. haaaaa.

--"nevers. un nom bien français!" "non, il est grec." "ehhhh. bon." haaaaaaahaha. that's all. that was our conversation, mr.french professor de bretagne et moi.
--my french is kind of coming back! kind of. slowly, but surely. i'm not rushing it. only kind of.
--while i was waiting to go into my comd class, a girl sat down next to me and was waiting for the same class. turns out i have both of my classes tomorrow with her as well. ha. welcome to my life, brittany.
--after classes, i met tianne and sarah for a catch-up-on-life reunion lunch. i love them/miss living with them. also, i went to costa vida for the first time in my life! turns out, it really is identical to cafe rio. essentially.
--sometimes in life you go to the grocery store and get what you would get in romania for like 30 lei or less is a heck of a lot more in u.s. dollars. not cool.
--sometimes you go to walmart with new roommate lauren and when picking a checkout line unfortunately pick the slow one standing right behind an irritated and ornery mother of five kids crying and exploring the items on the shelves by the checkout stand. i think she'd hit her daily limit of children. more specifically, was tired of her children. i know she did, actually. she said so.
--sometimes the checker asks where you go to school, if you know his old mission companion who's also from salt lake. and tells you he served his mission in scotland, after you ask. life story in 3 minutes or less? done.

i may be tired before the day is even done,

but all in all it was a mighty successful day.

i forgot how much i kind of like learning.

well that's a quarter of a century!

today is the 29th of august.

in my family, that means one thing.

dougy's birthday!

rough that he's starting grad school on his birthday.

but, what can you do?

nothing. precisely.

so last night:

we celebrated.

we ate steak.

we ate fruit.

we ate rolls.

we ate cake.

we ate ice cream.

we laughed.

we talked.

the usual.

love.

i guess you could say i kind of like my family/practically family.

bulletins - 2

courage is the heart's blossom.

when was the last time you danced?

well hey, junior.

it's the start of a new school year. again. though this time, it feels that i've been away from school for centuries. though really it's just been 4.5 months. that's still a long time. after romania, i got such a taste of life away from school, that i'm kind of getting to the 'i'm over school' point of life. that's a problem seeing as i have four years left. except two of those are more clinical than classroom. thank heavens. i am excited for a new semester, but exhausted already. just by the thought of it. i'm going to be quite busy, i believe. such is life. but i will admit. it's kind of nice to be on campus again. i forgot what byu wards are really like. kind of hilarious. kind of ridiculous. but all in all, just plain good.
and so, as i begin once more, i've a few goals to set.
as follows.

+ focus on learning.

+ work hard.

+ give a full effort and do my best.

+ stay caught up.

+ sleep aids learning: early to bed, early to rise.

+ weekly temple trips.

(i need a new sidekick now that clairaroo is married, meaning endowed.)

+ focus on the things that matter most. everything else will then fall into place.

i feel life changing. which kind of terrifies me. but at the same time, completely excites me.

here's to a new school year, full of infinite possibilities.

the return of stem.

at 8:43 this morning, i heard my phone ringing in the other room.

i answered it, and this is what i heard on the other end.

"we missed our thing yesterday. so i'm coming over right now and we're making waffles. be there in a couple minutes."

"uhhhh. ok. come on ova."

and two minutes later in walked steve.

we're thinking our brunches might become sunday morning things instead of saturday.

turns out, having church at 1:30 is the pits.

and gives us wayyy too much time to kill before church.

lauren (new roommate) and me were going crazy.

we're not fans.

longest day of my life.

anyway.

we had waffles.

we used kenzie's belgian waffle maker.

they were delish, despite the lack of syrup.

yes this is my kitchen.
yes my apartment is adorable.

my farmer's market blackberry jam is delicious, in case you were wondering.

and that's about all there is to it.

we so funny.

swing to the rhythm of love.

it's been a very full week. life moves so fast. and is so busy.

and school hasn't even started yet.

ahhhhhh.

this week included, but was not limited to:

farewell chats with best friend before returning to provo for good.

why is this exciting?
see here.
yes it's identical. we love the shivs.

greek food.

romania gave me a new obsession.

mmmmmmmmmmm.

but seriously.

a whole lot of blue skies and heat.

way way wayyyy too much time with lovebirds #2.

also known as steve & kenzie.

they're so cute it's almost obnoxious.

ok, so sometimes it is obnoxious.

i'm surrounded by couples.

haaaaaaaa.

though this week also included a hp marathon with them, so i guess it evens out.

haaa. jokes.

you both know i love you. :)

a traffic jam that results in some quality time with the crete truck.

too bad it wasn't from crete, greece.

if only.

and let's not forget the point of the mountain paragliders!

plenty of time in the d.i. skirt.

the kenzer and i ditched steve for a bit and wandered the farmer's market.

which involved seeing this rad pianist.

and some yummy fruit.

and purchases of blackberry jam for me, basil for her.

other highlights of the week:

way too many romania papers.

sweating.

moving in.

meeting my new roommates.

loving my apartment and chill new roommates.

and my apartment is adorable. let's be real.

final preparations for the start of school.

tomorrow it begins!

i keep thinking i'll catch up with life soon.

and catch up with taking a deep breath and processing all my thoughts.

so far, i'm failing.

maybe once romania has been officially closed by the turning in of our portfolios?

maybe.

bulletins - 1

God leads me to still waters that restores my soul.

psalm 23

when under, remember the surface.

when on the surface, remember the deep.

bulletins.

in park place i had a bulletin board and a chain to romania.

i put quotes all over it. and quotes on the paper chain.

i don't have a bulletin board anymore.
i'm not counting down to romania anymore.

those papers are being trashed for lack of room.

but first, recorded.

and so, i bring you a quote or two each day. until they are gone.
and as something to fill my bloggity while i catch up on life.

a bit of inspiration for the start of a new school year.

if nothing else.

and so it begins.

to see takes time.

georgia o'keefe

simple sand.

click here.
how incredibly beautiful is that?
even in something so small as a grain of sand, there is stunning beauty.
there's something to be learned from that, i think.

song of the day: awake my soul, mumford and sons.

is greek oregano different than regular oregano?

i just realized it's been three whole days since i last blogged.

when did those three days happen?

yeah, i don't know either.

i'm really bad at this blogging thing.
it's a romania thing.

i have a lot of things i think about or want to write about,

but i don't really have time to actually do so.

i've been a bit busy în viața mea as of late.

mersi mult, românia.

i'll catch up soon.

maybe.

p.s. have i mentioned that i am completely screwed for my upcoming french class this semester?

once again: mersi mult, românia.

we don't want no sodium attacks!

i just had a weekend filled with my romania roommates. slash romania reminiscing in general.

+ rozzles came and stayed with me this weekend because she's slightly homeless before starting another adventure post-graduation and europe. aka, she's moving to phoenix TOMORROW. and has been home less than a week. she's still fresh meat. i remember those days. life's rough. i love roslyn. she cracks me up. and we spent plenty of time america-hating, romanian speaking, and reminiscing. as well as gchatting within the same room.

we made cookies. they were yummy. our hair got long in romania, but i cut mine yesterday, so it's not as long in this picture as it was. oh well. just pretend. and pretend the flash doesn't make my skin look yellow. or that you can see my whole outfit yesterday--i know you're sad you can't. i was so put together. haa. joke.

+ while she was here, we did some culture proofs. which involved me sending a message on fb to our whole group for a little question i had. which involved a nice little thread of conversation with those that replied so far. a little teaser quote to make you jealous: "drench the paper in lemon fanta and write how you really feel across the entire page using chocolate and mamaliga." i died for a good five minutes. maybe more. the levels to which that comment is hilarious? innumerable. michael's only reply after reading the thread that remained? "weirdos." haaahahaha. he misses us.
+ last night's thread was practically a conversation with melissa.
+ as i fell asleep last night, i suddenly found myself thinking of each of my kids and wishing i could hug them. which lead to me coming this close to stealing a nearby baby in church today just so i could hold it and give kisses. member how i love me some baby flesh? i miss my hospital babies. if you could see the picture that's the current desktop on my lappy toppy right now, you would too.
+ kylee called me today for a slight favor about romania.
+ amanda and me had a lovely phone chat tonight since she hasn't moved up to utah yet for school. and she told me about her past (almost) 3 weeks of life. and it was just like being back in our little hallway where we had all the best chats about everything under the sun. and we both realize we're awkward post-romania when it comes to social interactions. opa. after spending 24/7 with this girl all summer, it's been weird not being around her at all. and having to catch up on everything since then. we will have dessert night dates. mostly for the papanasi. mmm.
+ all i'm missing is the breezster, rebecca, and technically mihai since we never directly talked.

i think it's safe to say i miss romania. (like it's my job.) rozzles and i find american life highly dissatisfying.
i think i need a life. after working and sweating all day every day, and now having nothing to do besides pointless write ups that i'm pro at avoiding? i'm going crazy. good thing this week has potential to be more exciting and school starts soon. which means i can have friends again.
and, as usual, i miss my little babes like crazy. shoot.

pa pa, sanatate, la multi ani, la revedere.
(say it together fast, and you're practically romanian.)

does anyone even read this?

my life is feeling more pathetic every day since romania.

the future and the past is much more exciting than the present.

the walkers are always happier.

michelle jean and i got together tonight. for the first time since i couldn't even tell you when. how sad is that? i know. pathetic, really. oh how i've missed this girl. hilarious.

ice cream in teeth. mmmm. we were avoiding laughing. naturally.

not standing up. taking the lazy route.

chatting in the park.

bbq hopes, s'more desires. failed turnout bbq.

creeping on the runners. watching them is addicting.

everyone is getting married! it's out of control.

europe. 'nough said.

marriage route? what's that?

future plans and school things.

life is a disney movie.

5th grade was an entire decade ago!

old friends. diverging lives.

car alarm. she's got it. never fear.

whatever happened to that person? or that other one?

singing in the car. when she thinks no one could see. and i soon realized we were both guilty.

ice cream. chocolate overload. you can never have too much chocolate.

look-a-liking duties. catch up needed.

reminiscing.

21st birthday plans. last cool birthday? yes. practically dead.

sănătate. papanași. kiddies.

7-11 crimes. will be remedied soon. with bread.

no food or movies on first dates. ice cream or slurpies, though, are always allowed. at all times.

running and walking with pride.

the singles have to stick together. endangered species--we're nearing extinction.

haaahahaha. this girl can make me laugh. i'm so glad some things never change.

having good friends that you can not see for a long while,

and then when you get together it's as if there hasn't been any gap of time at all?

nothing beats it. nothing, i tell you.

sunflower season.

while i often wish i was still abroad, i will say one thing.

nowhere does mountains like utah does mountains.

everywhere else is a sad pathetic attempt.

AND. i forgot how perfect august is.

august = sunflower season.

bliss!

and since this year was so rainy, everything is super duper green still.

and let's be honest.

the mountains are always beautiful.

so while i did miss a lot of beautiful utah summer, i'm back just in time for the best part!

by a lovely and unexpected turn of events, i went to provo today. (i know. i just can't stay away.) and then went up with my grandparents to aspen grove to visit my cousins. i am this close to bagging everything about real life and buying a cabin up by sundance/aspen grove and living there forever. you think i'm joking. oh, how i'm not. deb and i both decided that having a cabin someday in the mountains is becoming more and more of a necessity, rather than just a desire, in our futures. dead serious. i haven't seen any of the ricks in ages. (only one more week until mikey is in provo too!) so we all had some nice quality time in the fresh mountain air together. during sunflower season. bliss? check.

stop it. i know i'm obsessed. but can the world get any more beautiful? yeah. that's a no.

grandma janette, grandpa ray (ahem. FOUNDER of aspen grove. my family is cooler than your family.), jane, dan, deborah ann, and me.
[mike had peaced out by this point to take a nap. can't say i blame him.
don't worry. there are plenty more opportunities in the future for photographs with him.
mostly because HE'LL BE AT BYU! i'm kind of excited. why? i don't even know either.]

[deb. stop being a model. i can't compete with that if you come to the y and we are someday roommates. but seriously.

also, i'm starting to think those romania-abused jeans have got to go.]

i'm telling you. this is the life.

lasă-mă!

i just had flashbacks of when one of the kids in the hospital SCREAMED that at the nurses. literally. haaahahahaha. i shouldn't laugh. it was kind of terrifying at the time. but it was a 5 year old that was a little bit upset. and it was so funny. his insistence. yeah. ha. the end.

i just spent the past hour (or more. judge me.) getting lost in blog land. catching up on blogs i haven't even looked at all summer long. well, i can't say 'caught up.' because i didn't. i just skimmed around and read as i liked. clicking links and all that jazz. don't pretend you've never done the exact same thing. anyway. i concluded that i need to live in europe again. there are so many places i want to go! i'm kind of restless. in case you can't tell. oh, and I'M OBSESSED WITH EUROPE. and the whole wide world in general. see here. i want to go everywhere. and live there. i like living better than travelling. just saying. and i might be suffering romania withdrawals. i found this post, and it looks a looot like romania. and a lot like iasi. which means i'm suffering withdrawals and wishing that was still right outside my window. yeah.

dacia.

i miss la la. i haven't talked to her at all in a WEEK! i realize this is not that long. but it's the longest we've ever gone. i refuse to disrupt the honeymoon. ahem, duh. so instead i just plague her email inbox. she's going to loooove catching up on that when she gets home. oopsay. even when i was on my week vacation in romania we ended up talking at least once or twice with emails exchanged! ok. that rant over. just know i'm kind of excited for her to be back in the real world again, even though i'm sure she's not as excited. too bad. it has to happen. i'm going crazy.

i realized that i lost my go-to people this summer while off galavanting in romania. you know, the people i call or nag incessantly when i have something i want to go do or place i want to go or something new to try. because some things just aren't as fun alone. we all do it. judge me.
la just up and got married. seriously. the unmitigated gall. (how do you even spell that?) haaa. totally kidding. i'm super happy about it. but still. it means she's around less frequently. and less free to play with me! especially considering she's on her honeymoon. which we all know is the one time you don't call or contact someone unless someone died or they contact you first. literally. so all my dumb would-be texts or silly internet finds just go straight to her inbox. opa.
steve up and went and got a girlfriend. ok, so i'm super excited about that too. but it means he's obsessed with her instead of being free to humor my nags and requests. rude.

applications for humoring my incessant weird desires and cravings and ideas now being accepted.

hai, hai, hai la mine! vino încoace!

i'm so funny. and i've officially gone insane.

geometric progression.

"I don't want to be married just to be married. I can't think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can't talk to, or worse, someone I can't be silent with."

   
• • • • •

  

"That's what I love about reading: one tiny thing will interest you in a book, and that tiny thing will lead you onto another book, and another bit there will lead you onto a third book. It's geometrically progressive--all with no end in sight, and for no other reason than sheer enjoyment."

Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society.

romanian skype dates.

on my birthday i had individual skype dates with people.

that means i'm special.

throughout the summer, i didn't skype/gvideo all that often.

mostly because our internet was slooooow.

and went out.

all. the. time.

probably because we technically don't have internet in our apartment.

we just lucked out and still got scala's signal in our hallway.

just our hallway.

so any skyping usually involved a lot of:

"are you there?"

"hiiiii."

"what was that?"

"sorry. internet went out. what did you say?"

"i can't see you. are you still there?"

but seeing these faces usually made up for it when on the other side of the world.

and member that time romania skyped with peru?

that was cool. anyway.

in that case, you really can't ask for much when it comes to internet.

except steve's internet was faster in peru than in america?

i don't get it either.

doug and sherry: why did we not take a screenshot when we chatted?

yeah, i don't know either.

oh well. there are many more where these came from.

but i just found them, and laughed.

oh how i miss romania.

and our internet hallway.

ha.

joke's on us.

i apologize for the fact that i'm about to hit publish.

this is guaranteed one of the most pointless and scatterbrained posts in the history of this blog of mine.

opa.

i do what i want. and i like it. so it stays.

laurs, don't be hatin'.

haaaa.

:)

the end.

just a feeling. no one knows. yet.

"now we're back to the beginning.

it's just a feeling and no one knows yet.

but just because they can't feel it too,

doesn't mean that you have to forget.

let your memories grow stronger and stronger,

til they're before your eyes.

you'll come back when they call you.

no need to say goodbye."

regina spektor, the call.

after a run the other night, i allowed shuffle to carry me away. because sometimes, my ipod on shuffle tells me exactly what i need to hear. aka, the man upstairs has a way with the wiring of my ipod to set that shuffle just the way it needs to go. because that's how i'm wired. and i soon realized something rather interesting. it seems as though the same song by ms.regina is perfectly descriptive of my post-romania experience, just as it was perfect for when i left.

and yet, the emotion and situation is completely different.

deeper.

i want to hear about england.

i went down to provo last night.

under the guise of a wedding reception of my former home teacher.

but mostly to meet up with former roommate ms.sarah, who i hadn't seen yet since being home.

and then kaitlin joined us for dinner.

confession: these two make me laugh like nobody's business.

it was so so good.

despite the fact that they're currently convinced

i'm no longer the same person as before i left for romania,

i promise i'm not that different.

to answer all of their questions.

yes, i still like flowers.

yes, i still wear dresses.

yes, i still love to smile and laugh.

yes, there are people in romania.

yes, they speak romanian in romania.

anything else?

oh yeah.

yes, i still love you've got mail. i just maybe haven't seen it in quite awhile. opa.

kaitlin was ready to go. we wanted one more picture.
speak a little romanian, and she'll do anything you want you her to. 

our adorable result of kaitlin getting back out of blue sue for one more photo.

 the scary thing was, that it felt like i'd never left. like nothing had changed.

like provo is exactly the same place i left it, besides a bit more construction.

(who knew that was even possible?)

sarah and i then escaped provo temporarily for aforementioned wedding reception.

the reception of 2 people in our ward last summer.

the groom, my former home teacher.

the bride, her former visiting teacher.

and a completely perfect match.

in our awkward wandering to find parking/avoidance, we stumbled upon a park place sign!

in the process of going to a wedding for people from our park place ward.

meant to be?

we think so.

photo op stop was necessary, obviously.

we were too scared of the creepy guy that lived nearby and was outside to stay too long.

and had nowhere to put a camera for a self timer photo.

so we just had individual ones.

better than nothing?

 so rad, right?

we also decided we think spanish fork is really cute.

and we're going to have a saturday date there when we're back in provo again.

and we'll go to one man band diner on main street, that i've secretly always wanted to go to.

and then to the old books/antique shop on main street.

we're excited.

added bonus? the sunset last night was superb.

i love that mix of orange sky and purple mountain majesty.

 sarah and i are working on learning how to not be awkward in social situations.

or like an awkward couple.

preferably between now and when school starts.

any tips?

let us know.

haaahahahahaha.

but seriously.

i ended the evening with a pit stop to visit my dear sweet courtney [my freshman roommate],

who i haven't seen in quite some time.

and we had a nice little catch up chat.

but also suffered from picture fail.

we'll work on that.

p.s. shout out: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COURT!

i kind of just love these people.

and seeing them (and family. and soul sister's wedding)

makes coming home and not being in romania anymore kind of worth it.

kind of.

they do my heart good.