322 = 340

i realize how much this contradicts this. but let's just go with it.

last night, we had a soirée familiale chez mme petelo. because [well, i'm saying it's because of this. it could be a totally wrong assumption] this isn't the class for fresh off the mission r.m.'s, there was no 'on my mission..' stories. there was chatting, of course about their lives in france. particularly because we were in a french home. but nothing too ridiculous. so charming. it was so homey. and her children? the cutest three things on this planet. enzo, chloé, et margot. cuter than buttons. when i was getting ready to leave, i sat down and ended up reading french stories to margot (the youngest) for thirty more minutes. oopsay. i couldn't help it. i'm child deprived down here. and she was seriously the cutest thing i've ever seen. just saying. annddddd. these three little children know french and english. so for margot, all animals are cats. all drinks are milk. and all fruits are bananas. hahahaha. in french, of course. so cute. their little french accents. like this little girl. don't deny it. you know it's the cutest thing ever.

also, today mme petelo said this: 'vous êtes toujours élégant en classe.' for you non-frenchies: that means 'you're always elegant/neat in class.' and based on context, she meant looking elegant/neat. i didn't hear her at first, the fact that she was addressing me and all. and then when she said it i was dumbfounded and laughed afterwards. probably not the best reaction, but what do you do? it made my life. so hilarious. especially considering it's a 9 am class for which i all too often wake up at 8:40. ooopsay poopsay. hahahaaaa.

the point is. even if i don't like the coursework itself for 322, i love everything else about it. and 340 i love everything about. sweet deal, isn't it? i'd say so.

you've got that southern charm.

member this and this?

ok, so that last one only relates because the post title comes from the following.

they finally put the kangaroo video that kaitlin edited on youtube.

finally.

i love this song. it's so happy.

my favorite part of the video? during the chorus when he's going down the graffitied stairs at 45 seconds-ish.

p.s. this is the same guy from the water balloon fight music video. also a great song.

anyways. my point is: listen and watch. you won't be disappointed.

and i'll never forget how to spell kangaroo. i've heard it that many times. worth it? yes.

harry&ron--daniel&rupert

"Like a proud father, David Heyman, the producer of the Harry Potter films, reached for a box of photographs when a visitor asked him about the young stars of the history-making franchise.

“They are not my own children, obviously, but they are like nephews and nieces or perhaps godchildren, and I feel really protective of them,” Heyman said as he sat in his office at the converted aviation factory here that serves as the movie set for the Potter series.

“Here, look at this one — this is a photo taken the day the boys met. No one’s really seen this before. They were taking a little walk together to get know one another…”

The black-and-white snapshot showed Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint as chubby-cheeked adolescents strolling side by side, their eyes cast down to their shadows. Heyman took the photo in 2000."

---(found here)---

they are so adorable. i love harry potter. i wish i had time to reread all the books. and watch all the movies. ahhhh. love. i'm sad that soon this harry potter saga of waiting in lines at midnight for books and now movies will soon be over.
also, this song is growing on me. i didn't like it at first. now i love it. it completely and totally perfectly fits.
[harry and hermione's dance.]

over

"You can never be

overdressed or overeducated."

-Oscar Wilde

bliss

this is what we do.

and my favorite:

:)

if you want to buy me flowers, just go ahead now.

1. i have turned getting ready with no effort in five minutes or less into an art. people with eyes that encounter me today might disagree, but i'm feeling pretty great about things.
2. the u is very different from the y. just stating a fact.
3. i'm sitting in the exercise building listening to weird workout music outside a weightlifting or cycling class or something. she should work on that. now it's almost old country western like. oh wait, it is. weird? i know.
4. i really can't stay cause baby, it's cold outside.
5. la introduced me to 'dear blank, please blank' yesterday. wayyy better than mlia. just saying. hahaha.
6. in retrospect, this spend my days with lauren thing was not the wisest in consideration to me catching up on sleep.
7. why on earth would a university have many classes scheduled at 7:30? that's like a death wish. this is a weird place.
8. i love me some byu.
9. this morning i walked past the room where i used to have gymnastics when i was little. a part of my life i had forgotten. haaa.
10. i love byu. even if we are kind of quirky. and because i go to byu? i have finely honed skills in ring checking that laur is jealous of, obviously. i don't know why anyone wouldn't be.
11. instead of wearing byu paraphernalia, i wore blue today instead. i think i would otherwise be eaten. sooo..down here they don't like byu. who knew? they have signs saying carve up the cougars for their food drive. if i cared more, i would be offended more. instead, i'm only slightly irked.
12. i still have a long way to go in tartuffe. and the entire rest of my to do list. oopsay.
13. i'm glad the snow is finally showing up, although it is an enormous pain in the rear to walk through. and the ice thing? ask lauren. she'll tell you how much she loves it. hahahaha.
14. i can't end on 13. it seems unlucky. this is all.
15. "control a. delete. watch moviessss! erase your calendar, steve. it's drew barrymore!"--my new favorite person.
16. on the bright side, i know my way around the u's campus a lot better than i used to. which still isn't very good. ooops.

sign their symphony

"emotionally exhausted and morally bankrupt."
without the morally bankrupt part.

an exhausting week, culminating with you've got mail, a nap, and an almost return to music.
i don't feel much like writing anything, even though there's a lot i could say.
rather, i leave you with these beautifully wonderful songs.

because they are beautiful. to their very core.

wouldn't you agree?

  

hp

i went to bed at 5 am last night. worth it? mmm yeah.

also, you wish your school was this cool:

i know, right?
i love hp.

AA

last night steven sent me an e-mail. and this is what it said:

(no subject)

	Inbox		X

	steven william		X

Reply

Steven Nevers  to me

show details 9:12 PM (15 hours ago)

http://aa.org/en_pdfs/smf-121_en.pdf

Just replace the word alcohol with "watching You've Got Mail" :)

Sent from my iPhone

no comment.

regs-continued.

[ see here for part one. ]

. i found out this beautiful morning that the man who says amen loudly in the confirmation room to the left is either blind or almost blind. and now i love him that much more.
. there are two freshman boys that are there every week as well. one of which i think was in my home stake. and his brother was one of my trek brothers many moons ago. they used to get there after us. but now they are coming earlier.
. the recommend checker is getting more cheerful. told you. total softy. especially when you say 'good morning!' cheerfully followed by 'have a nice day!' as you leave.
. a new regular: at 7 when they do the changing of the guard at the font for the man holding the names to the camera, there's a man who walks around with an oxygen pack and is the replacement at 7. and he's adorable.
. the man who is voice for confirmations as well as the name holder-they like being cheery and having a good time and filling life with joy as they go. i like that. no, i love it.

i'm in love with the temple. once a week is totally doable with a temple in such close proximity. anyone who says otherwise is lying and is not managing their time very wisely. even i don't manage my time all that wisely all the time, and here i am. honestly, i think i could probably go more. sometimes it feels like an eternity between my visits to the wednesday morning crew.

i love wednesday mornings. they're moving ahead from close second to a tie with sundays.

also, i've been itching like crazy to go to the salt lake temple. i haven't been in ages.

340 > 322

in french, that is.

my final for 340 is scheduled at 7 am on tuesday of finals week, but according to m.unlandt, that is an ungodly hour. and i must say, i agree when it comes to taking a test at that time. right now we are reading tartuffe by molière. followed by phèdre by racine. and thanks to the other section, we voted to have our final be acting out a scene from one of these two instead. in small groups. and we'll do it on the afternoon of a reading day, instead of 7 am. and he might change our big paper to connect it more to the plays. which would make it easier. obviously. to say i'm ecstatic about it is an understatement.

i turned in my paper in 322.
i did the reading for today and les exercices en le cahier.
i turned in my 16e s. midterm in 340.

my asl presentation is tonight.
i just need to summarize my quotes for the rest of my new testament paper (not paper).
i have a few small readings and cahier exercices for thursday morning for 322.
i need to read 'as much as i can' of tartuffe.
i need to prepare myself for thanksgiving.
make a to do list of things to finish friday and saturday before sunday night so that i don't have to worry about them throughout the week of thanksgiving.
life is good.

obviously, 340>322.
m.unlandt is wonderful, funny, a human being, and has the neatest eyebrows around.
mme.petelo is a wonderful person. but suffers from the misfortune of me encountering her for 322. which is a class that can go die. but i do like her a lot as a person. if it's any consolation. probably not. oops.

french overload has been reached.

the beauty

L'Idée

Si notre vie est moins qu'une journée

En l'éternel, si l'an qui fait le tour

Chasse nos jours sans espoir de retour,

Si périssable est toute chose née,

Que songes-tu, mon âme emprisonnée ?

Pourquoi te plaît l'obscur de notre jour,

Si, pour voler en un plus clair séjour,

Tu as au dos l'aile bien empennée ?

est le bien que tout esprit désire,

Là le repos où tout le monde aspire,

Là est l'amour, là le plaisir encore.

Là, ô mon âme, au plus haut ciel guidée,

Tu y pourras reconnaître l'Idée

De la beauté qu'en ce monde j'adore.

Joachim Du Bellay

-----

{If our life was less than a day,

In eternity, if the year that turns

Hunting/chasing our days without hope of return

If all things born are perishable,




What are you musing, my imprisoned soul?

Why does the darkness of our day please you,

If, for flying in a clearer stay/visit,

you have on your back the well-feathered wings?

There is the good that every spirit desires,

There is the rest, that all the world aspires to,

There is the love, there the pleasure again.

There, o my soul, in the highest guided heaven,

There you will be able to/can recognize the Idea,

Of the beauty that in this world I adore/love/worship.}

[please note that in translation, meaning is lost

because of various possible translations

for words with multiple meanings.

and therefore part of the text's

meaning is unfortunately lost.]

LONG

look what i found! hahaha.

i was looking through old pictures tonight, and my only reason for posting this video at all

[due to how ridiculous i am]

is because of this fact:

look how long my hair was!!

holy hannah.

see also, these photos. i know, cah-razy!

i really forgot how long it was. weird.

ok, so i got a little carried away with the photo thing. you get the point.
and yes, i am aware of my weird head tilt thing that i always do unintentionally.

"well your hair's pretty long now...you just can't really tell because it's up so much."

--sarah ann syphus

haaaahahaha. sad, but true.

sarah ann.

sarah is my roommate. and she is the cutest thing ever. and hilarious too.

and she gives me back massages with basketballs.

[ok, so that was only once. but still.]

case in point:

and my personal favorite:

isn't she darling? yes, yes i know.

oh, and she has a thing for vegetables. yeah, i don't understand it either.

for you

i may not have any immediate family in the armed forces.
the closest i can think of is my grandfather who was in the air force--thankfully never during wartime.

but.

i have a thing for america.

a thing for that swelling pride and nationalism in mother america.

i love america. and the beauty that it is.

and personally, i think the sacrifices that are made in our behalf

for the freedoms we enjoy, past and present, are too often forgotten.

member how america wasn't a world power until AFTER the great war?

a war that was called great for a reason. because the costs were enormous-on all sides.

sometimes {almost always}, everyday americans get dang full of themselves.

but do they really have any room to think they're all that?

i leave the question to you.

how much of what you have is of your own doing without an enormous sacrifice of another?

nothing.

i found this video on this blog. and i may or may not have been teary eyed by the end. and it may or may not have contributed to me almost crying at the end of white christmas when i watched it today. makes you think, doesn't it?
everything comes at a price.

them fightin' words.

these words are so powerful. so true. we should take note.

because i agree. them fightin words.

i have nothing more to add. yes, this is a bit lengthy.

and after finding it, it took several days before i got around to reading it.

but now that i have, i want to share.

please read it.

that is all.

see here.

the first time i ever ran across this guy was with this article.

i know, right? he's so right.

p.s. my new favorite word is pulchritude.

count on you like 4,3,2

i'm losing my mind. and how exhausted i am of everything is starting to hit me. at first it was a gentle tornado of wind. now it's a ton of bricks, but one by one. which is even meaner. examples:
1. my french lit class is on tuesdays and thursdays at 12:05. 5 minutes ago (at 11:50) i remembered that it's cancelled today. i literally would have gone to class had i not remembered and sat there like a dummy.
2. i woke up at 9:05 today. my french writing class starts at 9. j'ai eu l'intention d'étudier pour mon interro ce matin et m'est levé a 7h. in other words, english words: i was going to study for the quiz we were going to have this morning and wake up at 7 to do so. yeah. i missed the quiz. and the studying. on the bright side---i found out she drops one quiz of the semester. so i just have to ace all the rest. no pressure, though. i totally got this. uhhhh.
3. i almost started crying last night just listening to two songs. this song and this song, to be specific.
4. little things are irritating me. like the girl that answered her phone in the library. and i know exactly what the conversation was about. i hope the place that she's going to be interviewed at doesn't hire her. because she had terrible phone skills. oops. that was mean. sorry. doesn't she know that the reason people come to the library to study is to get away from any distracting noises? i'm juuust saying.
5. i just now had a sudden sensation of missing lauren like crazy. good thing i'm spending two full days with her over my thanksgiving break.
6. i don't listen to music very often anymore. i know, right?
7. steven telling me about his download of harry potter wallpapers made my day on tuesday. it's sad that that was the highlight. believe me, i know. even sadder that i spelled tuesday wrong the first time: teusday ≠ tuesday.
8. in reference to number 2--that's two quizzes within a week. both because of sleeping late on accident. i know, i know.
9. i'm listening to lauren's blog for music. and i like every single song so far. and i'm currently at 19 down. just sayin.
10. i miss lauren. i even said her full name instead of la or laur or laureste or lauren celeste or soul sister. exactly the point.
11. now i'm at 2o down on her playlist. i like this song too.
12. song 21 i love, but not this version. now i'm just sitting here, or rather slouching here in my cubicle chair just sitting and listening. i've lost all motiviation.
13. i just sat up. good start.
14. why am i still typing?
15. the yellow-leafed path in front of park place has been swept away and thrown away now. i almost cried when i was walking home yesterday and saw that. that was my favorite thing. dead serious.
16. sarah, the roommate, is hilarious. i love her. we will have the classiest weddings ever. and dates, as well. we're working on finding any man that fits into this qualification. so far? no dice. it's hard to find down here. apparently. obviously.
17. i'm making beerrocks with cassi this weekend. yes, i am.
18. end. i know all 2 of you that read this are dying for me to stop. hahahaaaaaa.
19. song 24 is one of my all time favorites.

see the beauty all around and in yourself

live in thanksgiving daily.

need i say more?

the regulars

every wednesday morning, claira and i go to the temple. sometimes we have a joiner come along with us, sometimes it's just us. but every week while inside, we see the same crowd. and it's become our favorite part of the experience. {besides the temple itself, of course.} we can't bring ourselves to change the day, because we'd miss them.

--the crusty man who checks our recommends. but we know he's a softy underneath it.

--the ladies who give us our jumpsuits as they hang up the ones that have just come back from being washed, i'm assuming.

--the lady sitting right inside the dressing room by the towel bin

who greets us and thanks us as we leave.

--the man who says amen really loudly during confirmations. he's my favorite.

--the directing man who wanders through everywhere directing everything.

--the guy with tattoos who is there being baptized every week. we want to know his story, and we think he's great.

--the guy and girl that we think are siblings who are kind of awkward. he slides in and baptizes her then slinks on out.

--the lady who takes our names and hands us towels afterwards.

--the middle aged man who is there to baptize every week.

these old temple workers are our constants. the wednesday morning shift. these people that come are our constants. familiar faces we expect to see, and are disappointed and curious when we don't. and i love them like crazy, and just being able to be a part of it is incredible motivation to wake up and be there so early. we love it. and them. with all our hearts.

wednesday morning is the perfect time. midway through the week to give a boost to make it to the weekend and sunday. and then the week starts again and starts to drag you down-but then wednesday  morning comes along and provides a fresh outlook. i love early mornings after i'm awake and out of the temple before class. everything is so calm and peaceful. with a slight and gentle hustle bustle--the world just starting to come alive, cars moseying along with the heater working with all its might to battle the biting and unforgiving cold.

this is my regular. and i wouldn't trade it for anything.

26 hours

thursday, november fourth:
10pm--spoon it up with paige after failed attempts to start our music civ papers.
10:30pm--grocery store run with sarah. for chocolate for myself. and toilet paper. and fruit.
11pm--divine texts from jenny that made my whole life better.
11:45pm--pity call from mommy.
friday, november fifth:
12:15am--started the notebook.
12:55am--notified by steven that he won the raffle i entered him into for tickets to the tab choir christmas concert. and have a discussion about how our lives stink. over text.
2:30am--finish the notebook. after crying while watching it, of course. gets me every time.
2:45/3am--fall asleep.
10am--wake up.
10:30am--work.
11:40am--discuss authors with sarah while accepting the fact that i need to get dressed.
12pm--mentoring grace. and accepting that the fourth graders were welcome to judge me.
1pm--text from grandma.
1:30pm--continue music civ paper that needed to be 600-700 words. i had 150.
1:50pm--receive call from mtc saying they need my mad french skills at 8 for an esl missionary to teach the lesson in his native tongue-french. obviously.
2pm--finish music civ paper. this is why you choose someone you already know things about.
2:05pm--submit music civ paper and browse random new to me music on youtube.
2:40pm--start watching grey's anatomy.
3:15pm--late lunch with grandma for the first time in ages.
4:30pm--return from grandma lunch and continue grey's anatomy.
4:50pm--finish that episode. proceed to watch two more old ones.
7pm--realize how ridiculous and pathetic this is. continue perusing blogs and music.
7:30pm--decide i should probably start pulling myself together to go to the mtc.
8pm--arrive at mtc for appointment in trc.
8:30pm--after waiting in the room, be told that the missionaries they called me about don't exist. and i can go.
8:45pm--arrive at ashley's for her bday party.
10:30pm--leave ashley's and go home to eat dinner. but call mommy instead and talk about the breaks and christmas. and her sisters that live so close now {relatively}.
11:10pm--spoon it up with paige.
11:45pm--considering watching p&p or you've got mail or ever after or serendipity.
12am--here i am.

i'm the picture of productivity, i know. this is completely ridiculous and completely pathetic. and i probably shouldn't even be admitting to this. i need to snap out of it. you'd think i just broke up with my boyfriend of many years. and i've never even had a boyfriend. paa-thetic, emily. all time low. and did i mention that i ate a million and a half reese's peanut butter cups and pieces of my symphony bar all day? low point.

one of them

today is one of those days.

the one where all i want to do is curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep under five blankets that remind me of childhood.

the one where i want to curl up in my mommy's lap as she sings me raindrops on roses and other lullabies while rocking me off to sleep in the old rocking chair.

the one where i wish i had a shoulder to cry on. someone who will tell me it's ok. and will just let me cry without telling me i'm being ridiculous.

the one where i can't seem to do anything right.

the one where i listen to only the most depressing songs possible. or related mellow sounds. the weepies and coldplay, particularly.

the one that has a few good things about it, but mostly not so good.

the one that makes you wish it was christmastime and you could just sleep under a mesmerizing tree, warm as can be. sit in the darkness listening to sweet melodies. and then gently fall asleep.

the one where i don't even want to think about the possibility of a better day tomorrow or be optimistic in the slightest. i just want to lay here in my oversized hoody, that i don't even think is mine, and sulk in this day.

today is one of those days.

hit.

"getting bad grades is like

an emotional, spiritual, mental, and ego hit

all combined."

-steven william

i couldn't have said it better myself.

scabs and scars

"to be alive at all is to have scars." --john steinback

there are some things we don't talk about. i think everyone has some of these things. the things that, no matter what the circumstance, you don't bring up. the memories, the experiences, the pains, the regrets, the feelings, the emotions, the past, and even the joys and triumphs overshadowed by the simultaneous tragedies in the life of someone you love-making any mention of your triumph inappropriate. some of the many things in our minds that don't ever surface. not in their entirety anyway. maybe you allude to them. barely, because maybe it was/is an enormous part of your life. but you never talk about it. never share how you really feel. the circumstance. everything. we all have those things. i know i do.
i like being vague. being reserved. not sharing some things. not opening myself up like i'm on a table waiting for surgery, waiting for someone to fix me. because waiting for someone to fix me--wouldn't that imply that something was broken? perhaps. broken hearts, broken ears, broken portions of emotional capacity. these things could happen for a time. but does that make them broken? why would being able to feel something make you someone in need of fixing? i don't think it does. i think it makes you beautifully human.
these things--the ones you keep to yourself, don't talk about, don't mention, don't want scrutinized. they are the things that make you human. they build character like nothing else. and yet, these things really do break you. they can break you in places you didn't know you could be broken. you start to ache in places you didn't know you could. all because of this thing. this experience. this feeling. this reaction. this memory. this part of your life. it breaks you. or rather, they break you.
but this is the thing about breaking--nothing is broken forever. in time, you cope. you heal. and somehow, you build a scab over the parts of your insides that were once torn to shreds. a scab that perhaps is aggravated from time to time. maybe even will bleed some more. but it is a scab, nonetheless. it's something you've already experienced in its full glory. anything more, is just an addition. not the original pain tearing into you. you've passed that, thank heavens. and hopefully, that means you've learned something. learned something important. something that has become ingrained in you. a part of you. a permanent part of you. a piece of experience. a literal passing of events. an emotional experience. they're all the same. all are just pieces of character. true character. YOUR character. and in the end? i want people to be saying that about me. "ohh emily. yes. she had real character." wouldn't you? when i grew up, if my grandma said someone had character, that was one of the highest of compliments that you could receive. it still is.
so really, i think i'm ok with a few new scabs every now and again. even if it still hurts to scratch at the old ones. and i'm starting to think, that maybe some scabs never will numb. some of them will hurt every single time, no matter what you do. and sometimes, in some things, maybe that's the point. there's something beautiful about having something that is completely and totally your own in every way that keeps you feeling. and knowing you are beautifully alive.