lauren celeste wertz (burnett)

this is the first picture i have that we took together. la la and me. this was just before christmas, 2007.

the world has changed so much since then. (though we're obviously just as dorky. if not moreso.)

i knew her before our junior year of high school, barely. we were acquaintances with mutual close friends. that was all. i never expected any more to stem from it. junior year, we had calculus together with croftykins every day. on the first day when we all sat down randomly before any sort of seating assignment had been decided, we ended up at the same table. and i thought very little of it. well, we saw each other more and more. we died through calculus together. she and i became a mini sort of family with will and isaac. honestly, though it was hard, to date that was one of my favorite classes i've ever taken. we had such a good class as a whole, and croft was like an angel. i sincerely loved it. i think we all did. i remember one particular day that we had a sub, and were supposed to be working on homework. whenever either of us was feeling a little down, it always ended fast when the other was around. i remember this day being down, and sitting listening to music and laughing with la. talking about silly things and listening to cute songs. our song: calling you, blue october. she was going to make me a cd of feel good songs, and the next day came back with three full cds instead. lauren's prescription. she made/makes me feel good.

back then, i remember feeling weird about how close we were getting so fast. because i knew i was usually slow to open up to people. slow to let them in as close friends. and yet it was less than a month, i believe, before we were closer than i ever was with a lot of people i had known up to that point. cheesy as it is, i think it was partially through fbook that our relationship progressed more and more. we used to write back and forth occasionally, mostly about calc. and then a little more all the time about more general things. i remember the first time she said i love you in a message. the beginning of october, 2007. i remember being caught off guard. especially because i didn't grow up surrounded by people that outwardly said 'i love you.' it was always shown and assumed instead. (yes i do realize how cheesy this is and how much it sounds like a boy-girl relationship. that's life. haaaha.) and as i looked back at those posts to write this, i laugh at how surface-level they are. how silly. bits of information that just seem second nature by now. like finding out more about the siblings i didn't even know she had. it seems silly that i ever didn't know them. gradually our mutual friends were merging, but as they did, we were closer. like our own group. we started working on calculus together and eating honey bunches of oats. not really sure how it started. it just did. hboo and calc. and learning intricate details about each other much sooner than i'd ever told such things to anyone else. and that was that. like clockwork, really. suddenly we were the best of friends. destined as friends from the outset. all because of calculus. the class that changed our lives forever, hers even moreso. the place we became friends, and the place she met will.

i remember plotting with isaac, both of us convinced that la and will liked each other. hilarious and trivial, really, in retrospect. i would chat with her about it. he would ask will. and then we'd sit and laugh to ourselves about it, until they both finally admitted to it. they went on a date together to concerto night. march 18, 2008. the night that started it all. i remember them acting so strange the next day, but not saying anything at all. i remember knowing something had happened, but not knowing what. after school that day, i remember laying on my bed on the phone with her as she told me about their date. their 'dtr' of sorts. the first kiss. the beginning.

yes our eyes are practically the same color. yes we love it.

we stayed best friends. they continued dating. like clockwork. packed with love. senior year we became our own group. while we had other friends, we mostly kind of just liked being with each other. plus some others joining the party every so often.

february 2009, will left on a two-year mission to japan. one of the hardest things she ever did. i'm sure i'll never even be able to comprehend how hard it was. all i ever tried to do was be there for her, even if i couldn't understand it all, we were friends all the same. i don't think i realized in those moments how much i really don't think i understood. regardless, much to my surprise, through it all, even up to that point, we were still friends. i've few close friends that have lasted more than a year, and by that point, it had been a year and a half. we just kept on truckin.

we became friends and our friendship progressed rapidly from that time at the beginning of our junior year, and continued ever onward. perhaps it's selfish and one-sided, but i needed her so much then. at that time, she was my happiness. a constant in my life that accepted everything as it was, and didn't judge me or try to offer condescending advice, but just loved me and stayed by my side. it wasn't until the end of my senior year that i ever fully realized how much i did need her. more than i ever really knew. and how divinely led she was into my life. see here. sometimes just thinking about our friendship makes me almost want to cry. ok, so maybe sometimes i do cry. it's so divine. beautiful. and a privilege, really that i'm blessed with such a friend. a friend who in some ways isn't just a friend anymore. but more like a sister, our lives infinitely and eternally connected. i'm sentimental and sappy, as we all know. but truly, i love this girl.

our lives parted ways for the first time since becoming besties as we entered college, she at the university of utah and me at brigham young university. it was awful. especially at first. i love college a lot, but being away from best friend, experiencing such different things. well, in a nutshell: it's not always all that fun to have lives and experiences that are no longer shared. there's no avoiding this fact--even in the simplest ways. there are differences between our schools (ohhh heyyyy. duh.) there are differences in the people we interact with, especially because of the difference in schools. differences in our home lifestyles, she in a home with family and me in a student apartment with roommates. and the most noticeable: now we both have close friends that the other doesn't necessarily share. which, simply stated, is hard. moral of this story: we're not a fan of living in different cities. but, on a brighter note, as compensation, we may or may not have communicated in some form or another (usually texts) almost every single day since i moved to provo. i know, right? please be impressed. there's only a few days we've missed more recently. and i think we've come to a nice unspoken understanding (tell me if you disagree, la) that though we can't really share as many experiences together anymore, we can share in each other's lives. and we still are important in each other's lives, even if we're living apart. three and a half years later, the uncontrollable smiles and laughs roll on.
maybe it's just me. but it takes some coping as lives progress and the dynamics of a relationship are adjusted accordingly. and maybe that's just part of growing up--that gradual readjustment of perspective in relationships. as well as reevaluating where a relationship stands and your own role in it. the dynamics of the friendship, so to speak. so now, we live for surprise visits to provo or salt lake, even if they are short. and we've learned to make the most of the time we do have together in person, as well as taking advantage of other methods of communication. it's different, yes. and we both have our moments that we just plain, old-fashioned stink at communicating very well. we're only human. but we are still soul sisters. and i still love her more than words could really do justice.

and as it turns out, i'm not the only one who loves her like crazy. (duh. who wouldn't love la?)
and turns out, our lives are about to make another partition towards different paths.

william jack burnett returned more than honorably at the very beginning of march 2011. and even before that point, i think i knew and had slightly predicted the outcome, even before la fully realized exactly how things would go. (seriously, laur. i should get a prize. did i not call it?) well, turns out they kind of love each other a lot. and turns out they're quite a divine couple. and turns out, they want to seal the deal for always. because there's no one else they want to spend their lives with. which is understandable. they're perfect. what i'm trying to say, is this.

lauren celeste wertz is going to be lauren celeste wertz burnett.

that's right, friends.
(don't act like you didn't know this was coming.)

will and laur are engaged!

my la la. all grown up and getting married.

i might be kind of excited for them.

and probably more obsessed with them than they are with themselves.

maybe.

mr. & mrs. will and lauren burnett.

i've literally NEVER seen la so consistently happy. ever. truly, she is beaming. just being around her makes me smile. she exudes love and joy from every fiber of her being. she deserves this happiness. more than anyone i know. to say i'm happy for her, would be an understatement. i don't know how i couldn't be. they are a divine couple. just thinking about how happy she is makes me smile. just thinking about both of them makes me smile. as in, i can't stop smiling or giggling like a little schoolgirl. la's other half = found. and while it's hard that things will change a bit, i'm beyond happy for her. and can't even wait until we have a foursome. :)

i love that she's in love. i love that i know and love the man himself so well and have my own friendship with him, not just an association through laur. i think it would be much harder for me and her if this were a situation in which i didn't really know the fiancé. or worse, if i didn't like him and felt like he wasn't good enough. and while no one could ever be good enough for what my la means to me, will is as close as they come. he absolutely adores her. and she him. i've no doubt that they'll have their own happily ever after. i've no doubt at all, for they're already living it. you can't buy that kind of love and happiness. you just can't.

and please gush with me about how flippin gorgeous that ring is. for reals. BEAUTIFUL. and it's even prettier in person.

i love you, la. more than you'll ever know.

your happiness is my happiness.

and right now, the happiness is overflowing.

i love you. i love will.

i love you+will.

i love love.

oh, and in case i never actually said it outright: CONGRATULATIONS. :)